A Liar's Autobiography: The Untrue Story of Monty Python's Graham Chapman Page #2

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the dying embers of the setting sun.

They combined to produce

an atmosphere

so redolent of this type of writing.

"Iam victoria tam facilis

scrotum non valet".

We always beat Harrow anyway.

Why bother?

Oh, Chapman, sir, may I clean

your teeth tonight? Oh, please?

Why don't you bugger off, Shagspot?

Oh! Thank you, sir.

Plucky little squit, that young McMillan.

Should go far.

In a few days, I would be in Nice,

soaking up the sun

at the side of my father's pool,

while Jenkins hovered by

with a tray of vodkatinis.

Would you like another sandwich,

dear?

What?

They're your favourite,

sandwich spread.

So this is Nice?

What do you mean, Nice?

This is Scarborough.

You do too much reading.

It'll do you more good

if you eat your tea.

Quite right. You can't get through to him

when he's got a book in his hand.

- What is it, anyway?

- "Claudius the God" by Robert Graves.

A fine historical reconstruction of the life

of Claudius, the Roman emperor,

thought of in his time as a pitiful fool,

though the reign Mr Graves describes

is far from folly.

Is it?

Anyway, finish your tea. We ought

to get a haddock for Mrs Richers.

There's plenty time for that later.

Thraxted's doesn't close till five.

- They'll be out of haddock by then.

- We'll get halibut.

Mrs Richers especially asked

for the haddock.

Oh, haddock, halibut, cod.

There's no difference. It's all fish.

Let's just sit here for a bit

and enjoy the view.

- It's raining.

- It's bracing.

You should have your window open, lad.

Get a bit of ozone in your lungs.

Ozone is oxygen in a condensed state,

having three atoms to the molecule.

- What you can smell is rotting seaweed.

- Well, it's good for you.

- No, it isn't.

- Don't argue with your father.

It's those fancy books. You can't learn

everything out of books, my lad.

There's no argument. It's a fact.

Stop it, Graham. Now, come on.

We'll go and get the fish.

- No, we'll stay here.

- I think we should get the fish.

That ship over there

ls bringing wood from Nonuay,

coniferous wood used

in the paper manufacturing industry

since the late 15th century.

But the first paper mill in England

was owned by John Tate in Herlford,

a manufacturer of continuous...

Oh, the Tates. Wasn't their youngest

walking about with that Valerie Maskell?

No.

This process was developed by the

stationers Messrs H and S Fourdrinier.

It was her.

She was the one that got all the spots

at secretarial college.

Quiet, Edith.

The Fourdriniers were assisted by Mr

Bryan Donkin, an inventor and engineer.

Wasn't his step-uncle, Stephanie,

a wholesale poultry in Peatling Parva?

- No!

- Yes, he was.

It was their youngest

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