28 Hotel Rooms Page #2

And then she broke up with me...

and f***ed half the school.

Really. She did.

No!

Yeah. It was like... I don't know. I

turned Ashley into a complete slut.

Where-Where was that Ashley?

Where was that Ashley?

You ever have an experience

with a girl?

Mm-mmm.

No?

I did with a guy.

You did?

Yeah. When I was a kid.

We'd play, like, G.I. Joes.

And then...

And then I'd get shot, and he'd

nurse me with a blow job, you know.

Wow.

Yeah. But I could... I was so

young, I couldn't even come.

I got a blow job. This is... This

is not gonna make you like me.

You have, like,

the blow job chronicles.

"The Blow Job Chronicles."

"My first blow job...

started with a boy."

I'm a king in Monaco,

so f*** everybody.

I'm the king of the most

serene republic of San Marino.

I'm the king of Liechtenstein.

Do you wanna be

my princess?

I've never been crowned at all.

Excuse me.

I've never been crowned at all.

Oh, terrific.

Can we get

two more of these, please?

Bring the pain. I don't

think you feel any pain.

Drink up.

- What part of the hotel is this?

- What floor are we on?

Wake up!

Go!

They're comin' after us!

Run. Look at me. Look at this.

Come on. Let's go. Run!

Run!

Oh, my...

Can you feel the pain now?

Oh, God, get up. Okay.

Come on. Come on.

- This way, this way!

- You're gonna get it. Come on.

What should we do?

No, where... Where?

What? Is this...

Oh, my God.

Come on, get it.

Get in.

I love your feet.

If... When I see

a beautiful woman,

and I look down and I see ugly

feet, I get very turned off.

And vice versa.

If I see great feet,

and then I look up and see an ugly

woman, I might be extremely turned on.

Oh, oh, oh.

What? No, it's gonna...

You... It's good, it's

good, it's good. What?

You don't like that?

No, it's good.

This nail is so small that it's...

It looks so sad, this nail.

But you have to... Don't you

feel for the underdog a little?

I do. Like, "poor little guy"?

It's odd that you have...

you have no nail there.

It's kind of...

it's kind of freakish.

It's gettin' kinda scary.

Shut up and paint it.

Is it that you... Did you

dance when you were a kid?

Yeah.

You did?

Mm-hmm.

Like ballet?

Mm-hmm.

Really?

Did you do modern dance? Mm-hmm.

Jazz?

Mm-hmm.

Did you ever break-dance?

Mm-mmm.

Barefoot Polynesian hula?

Mm-hmm.

- I'm so bad at this.

- Mm-hmm.

What do you even like

about me?

Could you tell me?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Do it.

You want me to...

You want me to tell you

what I like about you?

Yeah.

Um...

What do you mean? List.

Like-Like make the list.

Like a top ten list? Yeah.

That's impossible to do.

I can't sum it all up.

It's not impossible.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes