24 Hour Party People Page #14

...and most difficuIt thing

I've ever had to do in my f***ing Iife.

-Take it down, Mart.

-Sorry, come on.

He's caImed down a Iot

since I Iast worked with him.

-Martin--

-F*** off!

You can't threaten me any more.

You're a big man, but you're out of shape.

AIthough you couId sit on me.

I've got something for you.

There you go, mate.

Can you turn that porn off?

We've got a Iady on the bus.

Leave it on. I think I'm in this one.

Go on, Roe.

PuII those curtains to.

What's up with you?

What are you Iooking at me Iike that for?

I'm not Iooking at you.

-You are.

-I was Iooking at Bez.

You are Iooking at me.

What's up with you? Are you jeaIous?

JeaIous of what? I'm not jeaIous.

If I wanted you, I couId have you right now.

I'm not jeaIous of nobody.

Tony. Sir Anthony, sir.

Can I interest you in some CharIeston, sir?

No, I think cocaine's a suits' drug.

It's a destroyer of taIent.

We haven't got any f***ing taIent.

Roe, chop him one out.

That's why it's fine for you to use it.

-You're a very giving person, sir.

-Go on, Tone.

One of us!

Never judge a book by its cover,

that's what I say.

And you've got a very nice cover, by the way.

-A first edition. Very coIIectibIe.

-Thank you.

-Hi, Tony.

-HeIIo, Iove.

This is Yvette.

She's actually Miss United Kingdom.

But that's not what attracted me to her.

That's where they do Stars in Their Eyes,

interiors of Coronation Street.

HeIIo, Iove. You aII right?

-It's nice to see you again.

-And you, as ever.

-And what do you do?

-How do you mean?

You know, your job. Here.

I'm Tony WiIson.

-It's a bit chiIIy.

-Pop this. Have this.

-Put that on.

-Thank you.

You can keep it. It's cashmere.

-Are you sure?

-Of course.

-Thank you.

-Least I can do for Miss UK.

I haven't got a tiara, so that'II have to do.

I mean, Granada reaIIy is just sort of my hobby.

My proper job....

-Do you know the Happy Mondays?

-I Iove them.

-I Iook after them. Factory Records.

-ReaIIy?

-That's my IabeI. New Order?

-Yeah.

Heard of them? There you go.

-Do you know the Hacienda?

-It's fantastic.

-I own that nightcIub. Part owner.

-ReaIIy?

If you ever want reduced admission, see me.

Better stiII, you get in free if you escort me.

I'm fIirting, by the way.

-You are.

-It's that obvious?

Don't judge. Piety's a very unattractive quaIity.

FIirting is a very naturaI process,

she's aware of it...

...I'm being post-modern

before it was fashionabIe.

Being at the Hacienda

was like being at the French Revolution.

''Bliss it was, that dawn, to be alive

''But to be young was very heaven''

Okay, so i was nearly 40,

which isn't really young.

But these days it isn't that old, either.

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