1776

1

Mr. Adams!

Mr. Adams!

There you are.

Didn't you hear me

call you, Mr. Adams?

You could've shouted down something,

saved me climbing up four flights.

A man that likes to talk as

much as you do, I'd think...

What do you keep coming

up here for, Mr. Adams?

Afraid someone's going to steal our bell?

Well, don't worry.

Been here more than 14 years, and

ain't been carried off once.

Better get yourself back

down to Congress, Mr. Adams.

Getting ready to vote,

and they said

they couldn't settle

such an important question

without Massachusetts

being there.

I can just imagine.

All right, what burning issue

are we voting on this time?

On whether or not to grant

General Washington's request

that all members of the Rhode

Island Militia be required

to wear matching uniforms.

Oh, good God.

I have come to the conclusion

that one useless man

is called a disgrace,

that two are called a law firm,

and that three or more

become a Congress.

And, by God,

I have had this Congress.

For 10 years, King George

and his parliament

have gulled, cullied and diddled these

colonies with their illegal taxes.

Stamp Acts, Townshend Acts,

Sugar Acts, Tea Acts.

And when we dared

stand up like men,

they have stopped our trade,

seized our ships,

blockaded our ports,

burned our towns,

and spilled our blood.

And still this Congress

refuses to grant

any of my proposals

on independence

even so much as the

courtesy of open debate.

Good God, what in the hell

are you waiting for?

Sit down, John Sit down, John

Thomas, for God's sake,

listen to me.

For God's sake John, sit down

I've had enough of you, sir.

Sit down, John Sit down, John

For God's sake, John, sit down

Someone ought to

open up a window

Will you listen to me

and forget the window?

It's 90 degrees

Have mercy, John, please

It's hot as hell in Philadelphia

Someone ought to

open up a window

I say vote yes

Vote yes

Vote for independency

Someone ought to

open up a window

I say vote yes

Sit down, John

Vote for independency

Someone ought to

open up a window

No, no, no!

Too many flies, too many flies

But it's hot as hell

in Philadelphia

Are you gonna open up a window?

Can't we compromise here?

Vote yes

No, too many flies here

Vote yes

Oh, for God's sake,

John, sit down

Good God.

Consider yourselves fortunate

that you have

John Adams to abuse,

for no sane man

would tolerate it.

John, you're a bore

We've heard this before

Now, for God's sake,

John, sit down

I say vote yes No!

Vote yes No!

Vote for independency

Someone ought to

open up a window

I say vote yes

Sit down, John

Vote for independency

Will someone shut that man up?

Never!

Dear God.

For one solid year

they have been sitting here.

A whole year!

Doing nothing!

I do believe you've laid

a curse on North America

A curse that we here now

rehearse in Philadelphia

A second flood, a simple famine

Plagues of locusts everywhere

Or a cataclysmic earthquake

I'd accept with some despair

But, no, you've sent us Congress

Good God, sir, was that fair?

I say this with humility

in Philadelphia

We're your responsibility

in Philadelphia

if you don't want to see us hanging

from some far off British hill

if you don't want the voice of

independency forever stilled

Then God, Sir, get thee to it

For Congress never will

You see, we piddle,

twiddle and resolve

Not one damn thing do we solve

Piddle, twiddle and resolve

Nothing's ever solved

In foul, fetid, fuming,

foggy, filthy

Philadelphia

Someone ought to

open up a window

Oh, shut up.

I now call Congress' attention

to the petition of Mr. Melchior Meng,

who claims $20 compensation

for his dead mule.

It seems the animal was

employed transporting luggage

in the service of Congress.

The question, then, would

appear to be one of occasion.

For if the mule

expired not while carrying,

but after being unloaded,

then clearly the beast dropped

dead on its own time.

Oh, good God.

They may sit here for years

and years in Philadelphia

These indecisive

grenadiers of Philadelphia

They can't agree on what is right

and wrong or what is good or bad

I'm convinced the only purpose

this Congress ever had

was to gather here specifically

to drive John Adams mad!

You see, we piddle,

twiddle and resolve

Not one damn thing do we solve

Piddle, twiddle and resolve

Nothing's ever solved

In foul, fetid,

fuming, foggy, filthy

Philadelphia

John, John

Is that you carrying on, John?

Oh, Abigail, Abigail, I have such

a desire to knock heads together.

Then why in heaven's

name do you stay there?

Come home to Boston, John.

It's only 300 miles.

If you left tonight, you could

be here in only eight days.

How can I do that, Abigail?

I'm no further along now than

I was when I first came here.

I know, my dearest. I know.

But that's because you make

everything so complicated.

It's all quite simple, really.

Just tell the Congress

to declare

Independency

Then sign your name

get out of there

And hurry home to me

Our children all have dysentery

Little Tom keeps turning blue

Little Abby has the measles

And I'm coming down with flu

They say we may get smallpox

Madam, what else is new?

Abigail, in my last letter,

I wrote you

that the king had collected

12,000 German mercenaries

to send against us.

I asked you to

organize the ladies

to make saltpeter for gunpowder.

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