W.C. Fields: 6 Short Films Page #2
- Year:
- 2000
- 233 Views
Thank you.
Oh, I just love it out here.
- So nice and green and everything. | - Yes, it is.
Rather "park-y" | this morning, though.
I have never been on such a crowded | golf course in all my life.
You little sissy.
Did you bring | a ball with you?
Wonderful.
Now, stand clear, | and keep your eye on the ball.
- Everything is form. | - Mm-hmm.
This is what they call | the "explosion shot" from the tee.
- It won't hurt you. | It won't hurt you at all.
- Oh. | - Stand clear, boy.
Wrong club.
- What? | - Wrong club. Try this putting niblick.
A "putting niblick"?
Really, the little chap doesn't | understand the nomenclature of the game.
Now, stand clear, boy, | and keep your eye on the ball.
No, I have it.
Stan...
It's all right. | Come here.
Stand back here. He gets | all hot and bothered about nothing.
I lost a very dear friend | in the Canary Islands many years...
What are you doing | with a club like this in the bag?
Don't play | with these clubs.
I lost a very dear friend in | the Canary Islands many years ago.
- How dreadful! | - Chap by the name of Pumphrey Pothelwhistle.
- Oh-ho, what a funny name. - Ah, he's | one of the Pothelwhistles from Twickenham.
If you've ever been | to Twicken...
Stop that, will you?
Fore!
- Whoo! Quite a driver! | - Yes, he is.
Yes. | Yes, he is.
Mm.
Hmm. Yeah.
Yes, we lost old Pothelwhistle in the | Canary Islands. He was kicked to death.
- Oh, that's a shame! | - Yes, kicked to death by two infuriated canary birds.
- Oh, why is that? | - Someone had been feeding them meat.
I happ... | Excuse me. I...
- Anything strange about this, love? | - It does look rather odd.
Yes. I think the shaft is warped. | Give me another bat.
Ha-ha, that's better!
- That's much better. | - Yes.
- Now, stand clear, boy, and | keep your eye on the ball.
This is what they call "hitting past | the chin," as I told you before.
Gives you a remarkable shot.
What have you got here, | after all?
A pie!
Fancy bringing a pie | to a golf course.
A pint, yes.
But a pie, never.
Why, it's like, uh...
It's like carrying...
carrying, uh...
something or other...
somewhere or other,
as the case may be.
Now, you stand clear | and keep your eye on this ball.
Stand clear, boy. | Keep your eye on the ball.
Stand cl...
- Quite a breeze. | - Yes, it is quite a breeze.
Yes, there is. | Quite a breeze. Yes.
Here's your overcoat.
Now, stand clear, boy, | and keep your eye on the ball.
- As I say, this is | "hitting past the chin. "
Yes.
- Hitting as far past the | chin as possible. - Mm-hmm.
Never stand close to the ball | after you hit it.
- Sounds like one of those birds | that fly backwards.
- Stand clear, boy. | Keep your eye on the ball.
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"W.C. Fields: 6 Short Films" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/w.c._fields:_6_short_films_22969>.
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