The Producers Page #5

13.

BLOOM DUTIFULLY GOES TO DESK. OPENS TOP DRAWER AND BEGINS

REMOVING BOOKS.

BIALYSTOCK:

How dare you condemn me without

knowing all the facts.

BLOOM:

But sir, I'm not condem ...

BIALYSTOCK:

Shut up. I'm having a rhetorical

conversation.

(to himself)

How humiliating. Max Bialystock.

Max Bialystock.

BIALYSTOCK SUDDENLY WHEELS AND SHOUTS AT BLOOM.

BIALYSTOCK:

You know who I used to be? Max

Bialystock! The King of Broadway!

Six shows running at once. Lunch

at Delmonico's. Two hundred dollar

suits. Look at me. Look at me now!

I'm wearing a cardboard belt!

HE RIPS THE BELT OFF AND HOLDS IT IN THE AIR.

BIALYSTOCK:

I used to have thousands of

investors begging, pleading, to put

their money into a Max Bialystock

production.

HE PICKS UP THE PICTURE ON DESK ('HOLD ME, TOUCH ME') TAKES

IT OVER TO OPEN CABINET FILLED WITH SIMILAR PICTURES.

BIALYSTOCK:

Look at my investors now. Voila!

(gestures at pictures)

Hundreds of little old ladies

stopping off at Max Bialystock's

office to grab a last thrill on the

way to the cemetery.

HE PUTS PICTURE BACK IN ITS PLACE. LOOKS TOWARD BLOOM.

CUT TO BLOOM. HE IS OBVIOUSLY TOUCHED BY THE GREAT MAN'S

DILEMMA.

CUT TO BIALYSTOCK.

14.

BIALYSTOCK:

You have exactly ten seconds to

change that disgusting look of pity

into one of enormous respect. One

... Two ...

CUT TO BLOOM. HE IS REALLY TRYING TO CHANGE HIS EXPRESSION.

CUT TO BIALYSTOCK.

BIALYSTOCK:

Do the books! Do the books!

CUT TO BLOOM. HE IS GREATLY RELIEVED.

BLOOM:

(sighing)

Yes, sir. Thank you.

HE PLUNGES INTO HIS WORK.

CUT TO BIALYSTOCK. HE GOES TO WINDOW, LOOKS OUT.

BIALYSTOCK:

(to himself)

Window's so filthy, can't tell if

it's day or night out there.

HE WIPES WINDOW WITH HIS CUFF. LOOKS AT WINDOW. NO GOOD.

LOOKS AT HIS GRIMY CUFF. GRIMACES. FROM HIS DESK HE TAKES

THE REMAINS OF A CARDBOARD CONTAINER OF COFFEE AND SLOSHES

IT AGAINST THE WINDOW. HE WIPES WITH HIS TIE. HE LOOKS

OVER HIS SHOULDER AT BLOOM TO SEE IF HE IS WATCHING. BLOOM

IS WATCHING. THEIR EYES MEET. BLOOM'S EYES RETREAT.

BIALYSTOCK VICTORIOUSLY TURNS AWAY AND LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW

DOWN INTO THE STREET.

CAMERA:
SHOT OF STREET. BIALYSTOCK'S POINT OF VIEW. A

WHITE ROLLS ROYCE SLOWLY MAKES ITS WAY UP THE BLOCK.

BIALYSTOCK:

(voice over as camera

follows Rolls)

Look at that. A white Rolls Royce.

That's it baby, when you got it,

flaunt it.

BLOOM:

(off screen)

Koff, koff ... ahem, ahem ...

harrumph ...

15.

BIALYSTOCK:

I assume you are making those

cartoon noises to attract my

attention. Am I correct in my

assumption, you fish-faced enemy of

the people?

BLOOM IS WOUNDED.

BIALYSTOCK:

I have hurt your feelings.

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