The King of Comedy Page #4

PUPKIN:

But that's where I am!

LANGFORD:

You've got to work your way up, learn your

trade in front of live audiences, start

playing the little clubs.

PUPKIN:

But that can take years, Jerry! Look at

me. I'm already 31 years old! People my

age are way ahead of me. I've got some

catching up to do and I need your help.

What do you say, Jerry? All I'm asking

you to do is listen to my act. That's all.

Is that asking too much?

LANGFORD:

I get calls from agents every day.

All they want ...

PUPKIN:

I tried getting an agent. I did, Jerry.

But you know how it is. You can't get an

agent unless you're working and you can't

get work unless you've got an agent ...

or unless you know somebody. And the

only person I know is you, Jerry.

There is a long pause.

LANGFORD:

Look, why don't you call my office.

PUPKIN:

Could I?!? Oh, I knew you'd say that,

Jerry. You don't know how many times I've

had this conversation in my head. And this

is the way it always turns out. That's why

I had to sort of invite myself into the car

tonight. I know it's kind of presumptuous

and I really appreciate the time you've

given me. But breaks like this don't just

happen. You have to make your own breaks.

The limousine starts slowing down as it pulls up before

U.N. Plaza. It stops. LANGFORD gets out. PUPKIN follows.

3EXT:
U.N. PLAZA APARTMENTS - NIGHT

LANGFORD turn to PUPKIN, looking to get rid of him as

cleanly and gracefully as possible. LANGFORD extends

his hand. PUPKIN goes to shake it but his hand is wrapped

in the handkerchief. He extends his left hand. LANGFORD

shakes it awkwardly.

LANGFORD:

Nice meeting you, Rupert. I hope it all

works out for you.

PUPKIN:

Thanks, Jerry. I don't know how to repay

you. I'm a little short on cash this

evening, but, if you don't mind some good,

hearty food, I'd be honored to take you

to dinner.

LANGFORD:

Thanks, but some people are waiting for me.

PUPKIN:

Oh, I understand. Well, then, maybe I could

repay you with a joke.

LANGFORD is starting to walk into the building.

PUPKIN:

Wait a minute. How's this? The first night

you do your show from the coast, you open

this way. "Good evening, ladies and

gentlemen, it's great to be back here in

Southern California where you can wake up

in the morning and listen to the birds

coughing ... "

LANGFORD:

(nodding but unsmiling)

Not bad. Maybe.

PUPKIN calls after LANGFORD who heads for the entrance

to his building.

PUPKIN:

Consider it a gift. Hey, Jerry!

How about lunch? My treat!

LANGFORD:

(turning back before

he enters the building)

Call my office.

PUPKIN waves with his bandaged hand, notices LANGFORD's

handkerchief and unwraps it.

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