The Dick & Paula Celebrity Special Page #2
- Year:
- 1999
- 30 min
- 28 Views
but with a personal crisis.
- Who would I play?
- One of the guards.
It needs a rewrite, with
a feminist statement.
I know you're politically active...
and I think it could
work so well.
I've been working
on it for a year...
and I can't progress
unless a star is involved.
And someone like you, it'd be...
Have you given it to
any actors?
it before they see it...
because I have no track
record as a screenwriter...
although the script gets a
terrific reaction.
- Really?
Great, because I don't want to...
Sure.
He's coming!
Come this way!
Come this way, everyone!
It's him. Come on.
We watch you every
Sunday on TV!
We wouldn't miss it
for the world!
Good to see you.
- Will you stay long?
- As long as I can.
Father Gladden is
our guest, from the TV.
Father, my daughter got a prize
She'd love to have
your autograph.
Entrance into the
Kingdom of God...
is determined by our response
to the neighbour in need.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Relax, I was the
same at first.
My room's so spare.
And with a Bible!
And the water comes out brown.
I told the handyman. Really,
I know what you're going through.
When my husband went off
with his secretary, I was lost.
Someone said,
"You were raised a Catholic.
How could you consider a hit man?"
And I heard about this retreat.
- But I'm not religious.
- Nor am I.
My life, religious? I've had
two divorces and two abortions.
But to take a break from
the chaos of the city...
No, no, no.
brown in my room.
And the bed's hard.
You've had a trauma.
No therapy, no pills...
what you need is peace and quiet.
Your emotions
have to settle.
I couldn't go back
to teaching again.
Simplify.
Who's more popular,
the Pope or Elvis?
- I don't think there's any doubt...
- Elvis!
Do you think that the Beatles,
at the height of their fame...
- World population was smaller...
- Autograph, please?
The food's the worst.
What is this?
I don't know. Shoe leather?
You don't have to eat it.
I asked for it rare.
But you don't like meat.
I said "rare".
You heard me.
I told them twice.
"Not overdone."
Well, we're not
here to enjoy ourselves.
Eat it, or something else.
- The macaroni cheese is good.
- Would you like mine? It's rare.
- That's nice of you.
- Please!
You sure?
You see, I can't eat
steak that's not rare.
Doesn't that look nice!
I started as a hobby...
but I get so many orders now,
I can't make them quick enough.
All genuine ceramic.
And this rubber
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"The Dick & Paula Celebrity Special" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 9 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_dick_%2526_paula_celebrity_special_5233>.
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