Seems Like Old Times

---

Yeah?

- Hi.

- Hi.

Uh, me and my buddy we're having

a little trouble with our car.

We were wondering

if we could use your phone.

I'm sorry, I don't have a phone.

Oh, that's okay,

we don't have a car.

I don't get it.

This clear it up for you?

No, I'm afraid not.

You see, I'm blind.

It's, uh, not a permanent condition.

It comes and goes.

DEX:
We could've killed you,

you know that.

It's a natural instinct for a man

to defend his home and property.

Worth giving your life up for?

Well, not that particular

property, it's rented.

Well, what the hell you doing

up there all alone, a**hole?

That's okay,

you can call me Nick.

I'm a writer,

I'm working on a book.

What line of work you fellas in?

Stop at the next station,

a**hole.

We need some gas.

- Carmel.

Oh, yeah? Nice town.

Got a nice bank too.

You ever knock off a bank?

Me?

Not that I can recall.

Well, this will be

your first time.

We're gonna rob a bank?

You, me and Bee Gee.

What do we want to do that for?

Because that's our line of work.

- I see.

Pull in there, writer.

Now you remember

where this gun is.

Right side, middle of the ribs.

- Fill it up.

Fill it up.

Premium?

- Regular.

- Premium.

- Premium will be fine.

Want me to check the hood?

- Yeah.

- No.

No. It's already

been checked, thanks.

Any chance of my

going to the john?

- None.

- Just relax.

- I'm relaxed.

Nice day for a drive.

Tell me, where you boys heading?

- Carmel.

- Oregon.

Oregon.

Then right up to Oregon,

that's our home up there.

Nice country.

Eighteen even.

Eighteen even.

Pay the man.

You have my wallet.

- Business.

- Vacation.

- Vacation. On a fishing trip.

Eighteen out of $20.

Here you are.

Yeah, keep the change.

- We know the way.

- Thank you.

- Move it.

I don't know.

We may have to call it off.

I don't think we're gonna find

a parking space.

Just keep circling

'til somebody pulls out.

Can I ask a dumb question?

What do you need me for?

Because you got

a nice honest face.

You're gonna walk up to the teller,

smile, and hand her this note.

BOTH:
"This is a stick-up.

Put all your money in a bag.

"Make one sound

and you're dead."

It's good. Good writing.

Take it from a pro.

Thanks.

You see?

There's a spot, across the

street from the bank.

What am I supposed to do

with this?

Just open your jacket

and let the lady sees it.

Then she'll know

you mean business.

Let's go.

Supposing, once we get inside I

decide to blow your heads off?

How? We don't have no bullets.

- Just kidding.

- Let's go.

TELLER:
There you go.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Next?

Next?

- Yes, you can.

What is this?

Read it.

It's self-explanatory.

- Oh, my God!

- I know. I know.

- Oh, my God!

- I feel the same way.

What do I do?

I don't know.

Let's take a look.

"Stick-up,

put all your money in a bag.

"One more sound

and you're dead."

- Bless you.

Oh, uh

- Please pick it up.

- No, leave it. Leave it there.

Or you can pick it up.

Whatever you

- I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know either.

You want change too?

- Yes, please.

- Okay.

- No change. Keep the change.

Listen, I have nothing

to do with this.

It's those two guys

over there by the desk.

Look at them.

This isn't even loaded.

Oh, God, please, don't hurt me.

I'm not gonna hurt you.

- Hi, Helen.

- Hello, Mrs. Herman.

Mrs. Herman, would you mind

going to the next window?

I'm getting a payroll.

- Okay.

- Thanks.

Listen, do me a favor.

Tell the police I had nothing

to do with this, okay?

Thank you. Nice job.

MAN:
Is he all right?

Oh, sh*t!

Jesus!

Well, I'm thrilled, too,

Stanley.

Well, you know

how I've wanted it.

I think I can do

a hell of a job for you.

Well, thank you,

that means a lot to me.

I've got some ideas

for the campaign

I'd like to sit down

and discuss with you.

Why don't we have dinner

next week?

Tuesday night at our house?

Aurora's chicken pepperoni.

I know how you love it.

Thank you very much.

It's set. Attorney general,

state of California.

The Governor's backing me.

- Congratulations, Ira.

- Thanks, Fred.

I always knew you'd make it.

I've been saving these

for four years.

Starting to grow ferns.

Let's not smoke them

until you see this.

In a second.

Jackie, would you get me

my wife, please.

: Yes, sir.

- Call her later, please.

Well, hold that a second,

Jackie. What's wrong?

- No.

He looks a little

like my wife's first husband.

- Your wife's first husband.

Gardenia

Knocked off the Bank

of the Pacific in Carmel.

Got $7,000 plus.

Walked in,

handed the girl a note,

flashed a gun and walked out.

If they still want you for Attorney

General, this could be your first case.

Is this a gag?

This is a government agency.

You know we don't have

a sense of humor.

He was seen driving away

with two unidentified men.

There were smart enough not

to get their picture taken.

Putz. Putz.

Doesn't even know

how to rob a bank,

looks right into the camera.

Couldn't ask

for a better picture.

What is he wearing, makeup?

This, plus the fact that he spent

two years in a Mexican jail

is gonna make terrific copy

for the opposition.

They never proved that he was

personally smuggling in the drugs.

They found him in the car with

five kilos and four Mexicans.

A three and a half minute trial,

you don't call that justice.

Ira, you've got my vote.

But we're living in

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