Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic Page #2
He said if it doesn't burn through my skin it will protect me.
Who cares. Different religions,
you know. I mean...
I guess if you in time with an issue, I suppose
would be like if you're having a baby...
You got to figure out like how
...or whatever, you know. Which wouldn't even still
not be an issue for us because we'd be honest, you know...
... and just say, you know like Mammy
is one of the chosen people and ...
... and daddy believes
that Jesus is magic.
That's not nice.
You know Jesus is magic you know
because he turn water to wine and he...
I think he made the
Stature of Liberty disappear.
... or something.
You know that Jews got all,
you know they don't want.
But then Jesus movie came out, you know,
and but now the Jews didn't want people to see it.
Because they felt...
Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ
and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans.
I'm one of the few people that
believes it was the blacks.
I don't care. Good. I hope the Jews did kill Christ.
I'd do it again, I'd f***ing do it again on the second.
By here is breaking stocks clacking.
This way.
My boyfriend and I were on like second or
third stage, you know, we're like...
...we're finally comfortable.
You know around.
Like I'm finally comfortable enough to pee in front
of my boyfriend, which is so great, you know.
Cause now I'm gonna try
it in the bathroom.
And...
...we take showers together
and you know it's really...
I guarantee if you take a shower with your boyfriend, by the time
you step out of that shower your breasts will be sparkling clean.
Sparkle in.
I was licking jelly out of my boyfriend's
penis and all of a sudden...
...all of a sudden I'm thinking "Oh my God,
I'm turning into my mother."
You know it's like...
Those clues. You know.
Of becoming our parents. It's scary.
So scary.
Try to get that lilts like that.
It's a fun. What if fun cut.
So scary.
Can I steal you for a minute?
Like that kind of voice.
I'm so into that.
I don't know why it's fun.
Can I steal you for a minute?
Cause I do a lot of f***ing.
But I want like I wanna try something else,
because it's really hormonian and...
I'm always looking... I'm always asking my
friends what they use for birth control.
...take a little poll, like I ask my friend
Charlie what he and his wife use for birth controlling.
He said he just cums
all over her face.
I'm gonna try that.
He has kids already. My boyfriend, he has kids. I mean theyre like...
He's got a boy and a girl, theyre nine and eleven. And theyre great.
You know what, he actually made them those
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 8 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/sarah_silverman:_jesus_is_magic_17457>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In