M*A*S*H Page #5

A Korean boy, not yet of military age, in green fatigue pants

and an off-white coat, appears promptly and heaps Duke and

Hawkeye's plates with food. Duke is hungry enough to turn

his whole attention to the meal, but Hawkeye is unable to

keep his eyes off Lieutenant Dish while eating. Thus neither

of them is aware of the attention they are getting from the

male officers' group, which includes HENRY, a couple of

medical captains named MURRHARDT and BANDINI; DAGO RED

(officially, Father John Patrick Mulcahy, red-haired Catholic

Chaplain of the area) and the PAINLESS POLE (Captain Walter

Zaldowski, Dental Officer), both in their thirties; and

CAPTAIN UGLY JOHN BLACK, an Australian anesthesiologist.

There is also curiosity about the newcomers from the unlisted

men's section, where we see among others RADAR; VOLLMER,

Henry's overweight Sargeant Major; CORPORAL JUDSON, young,

black and fresh from Mississippi; PRIVATE BOONE, who looks

too young and nervous to be in any man's army; and PFC

SEIDMAN, whose first trip out of New York has taken him

halfway around the world.

Henry, who alone has reason to be personally affronted by

Duke and Hawkeye's unmilitary behavior, gets up and crosses

to where they are sitting.

HENRY:

I'm Colonel Blake. You fellows just

passing through?

HAWKEYE:

Nope, we're assigned heah.

With which reminder we will abandon all indications of the

Maine accent.

DUKE:

Y'all were short a couple cutters

and we're what the Army sent.

HENRY:

Don't you know the first thing you're

supposed to do at a new post is

present yourself to the commanding

officer with your orders?

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