Jersey Shore Massacre Page #2

'cause guess what, Teresa?

Life's just

too f***in' short.

Okay... next topic.

When are the girls

meeting us down in Seaside?

Uh, Joanne said that she,

Candi, and Val left Brooklyn

almost an hour ago, and

that Val's cousin Rosemarie

can't make it

till tomorrow night.

So in other words, they could

have stopped for hot dogs.

Or they're banging three guidos

at a turnpike rest stop.

Eww.

Oh, my God, speak

of the f***ing devil.

Almost f***ing

killed us.

Oh, my God.

You should have seen the old

man's face at the toll booth.

He was so funny, ha!

Put your tops back on

and follow us.

Yeah, Jersey Shore!

Are you sure this is

the right house, Dina?

Yeah, I'm f***in' sure.

Come on.

Hello?

What do you think

you're doing here?

Excuse me?

This is our rental.

What are you

doing here?

Nice try, chonga.

This is our house,

so get the hell out.

Take your little

rat dog with you.

Who are you calling

chonga, bruja?

Don't be scared, Pico.

I won't let her

eat you.

I'm calling

all of youse chonga.

And I'm calling the owner

right now.

You no have to call, okay?

He lives right there,

and I just gave him our check.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

We'll see about that.

Girls.

Well...

Hello there, ladies.

I'm Ronnie-- what can

I do you for?

Yeah, Ronnie, we spoke

on the phone a month ago

to confirm our reservation

for the house this weekend.

Oh, yeah!

Your friend just gave me

a check, so we're cool.

Romero, right?

No... Romano.

Dina Romano,

you idiot.

Romano.

You're not all together?

Uh, give me a minute.

Don't go away--

hold on, just wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait.

Here it is.

You're Romano.

They're Romero.

Romano, Romero, Romano

You're two different parties.

That explains everything.

Fine... so can you get those

chongas out of our house,

so we can finally

shower and unpack?

I'm afraid I can't do that,

and here's why.

You see, I already

gave them the keys,

and then now they

take over the house.

That's the law.

See, the house is not mine,

it's theirs.

I know it's

a little peculiar,

but it's how they

do it in Jersey.

Now that every house

and hotel are booked,

where are we

supposed to go?

Nice going, Ronnie.

You managed

to f*** us all.

Hold on--

hold on, hold on.

Why don't you guys

just stay here with me?

Uhh! Excuse me?

Look, I can find ways

of keeping you girls

reasonably... entertained.

Ugh!

I'll take that as a no.

Or I'll take it

as a maybe.

Their loss.

Okay, pot, it's you and me.

Huh!

I don't speak Mexican

or Puerto Rican,

but I know they

definitely talking about us.

F***in' nightmare.

Hold on a second.

I'll be right back.

If that chonga gives me

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