George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing Page #2
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2005
- 75 min
- 2,815 Views
It's got a masculine sound!
Like "shotgun", and "ashcan",
and "tow-truck"...!
"Cornhole!"
Everything's been sanitized
now, and cleaned up!
First with these f***ing Christians,
let's just start with them!
Let's not leave out these
They're just as f***ing bad
from a different direction!
But's everything's different!
Everything's been
polished up! It's "anal
intercourse", "anal rape!"
Bullshit! Cornhole!
I'm a big fan of the prime
time crime shows...
...I like all of them pretty
much, you know, I like
"Law and Order", and all
the spin-offs of that...
I like "CSI", and all of those spin-offs,
'cause they're forensic shows, you know?
And I'm just waiting for
one night to be sitting
there watching one of
them shows, and...
...the chief medical examiner turns
to the lead detective and say "Steve..."
"Looks to me like that after they
killed this guy the perpretators rolled
him over and cornholed him about
thirty or forty f***ing times..."
"And there's a posthumous multiple cornhole
entry wound!"
In prison it's a social activity!
Yeah, it's right there
on the bulletin board!
"Checkers, handball,
cornholing!"
Now, just to change the subject
a little bit...
Do you realize...?
...that right this second,
right now...
...somewhere around the world...
...some guy is getting ready
to kill himself?
Ain't that great?
Do you ever stop and think
about that kind of sh*t?
I do! It's fun!
And it's interesting!
And it's true!
Right this second, some guy is getting
ready to bite the big bazooka!
Because statistics show that every year
a million people commit suicide!
A million! That's 280 a day!
That's one every 30 seconds!
There goes another guy!
And I say "guy" because men are four times
more likely than women to commit suicide!
Even though women attempt it more!
So men are better at it!
That's something else you girls
Well, if you wanna be truly
equal, you're gonna have
lives in greater numbers!
But I just think it's interesting
to know...
..."interesting", that's a big word in this
show for me...
...interesting to know that at any moment,
the odds are good...
...that some guy is draggin' a chair across
the garage floor...
...trying to get it right underneath
that ceiling beam...
...don't want it to be
too far off center.
If it's worth doing,
Somewhere else another
guy is going over and
getting a gun out of a
chest of drawers...
Somebody else is opening up a brand
new package of razorblades!
Maybe struggling with the cellophane
a little bit, you know?
"Oh sh*t! There's always something!
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"George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 9 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/george_carlin:_life_is_worth_losing_8858>.
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