Bubba Ho-Tep Page #2

Cheers!

Oh, my! Did you see that thing?

Just standing here!

It just went up like that.

'Now, Elvis... '

Yes...

Don't carry it too far.

You may just get way out there

and not come back.

Oh, f*** you.

Sh*t. Get old, you can't even cuss

someone and have it bother 'em.

Everything you do is either worthless

or sadly amusing.

Well...

I've got what I want.

- The clothes can go to Goodwill.

- Very well.

And I'm sorry about your father.

He was a nice man.

Yeah.

Nice to meet you, Mr Presley.

- Get the hell out.

- Now, now.

I'll be back later to do that little... thing

that has to be done. You know.

- Elvis!

- Ssh!

Poor Bull.

In the end, does anything really matter?

'No one here ever listened to me.

'Except this one guy -

only he was certifiable.'

That's where they took

a piece of my brain.

They got it back in DC in that goddamn jar.

I got a little bag of sand up there now.

Jack, no offence, but...

President Kennedy was a white man.

That's how clever they are.

They dyed me this colour, all over.

Can you think

of a better way to hide the truth than that?

'I was living simple... the way Haff had been.

'Going from town to town

doing the Elvis act.

'I felt like I was really me again.'

- Can you dig that?

- We're digging it, Mr Haff.

Mr Presley. Mr Presley.

'Women threw themselves at me

because they could imagine I was Elvis.

'Only I was Elvis -

playing Sebastian Haff playing Elvis.

'It was good. I didn't mind

the contract being burnt.

'I didn't even try to convince anybody.

'Then I had the accident.

'I was gyrating and my hip went out.'

- Oh-h!

'I'd been having trouble with it.'

Damn, it's cold in here.

No way. That's it. This time I'll make it.

No more piss or crap in the bed.

Whoa!

Man!

That is one big b*tch cockroach.

Oh!

All right, man. Let's go.

Damn.

Hot damn!

Got you, you six-legged bastard.

Where...

Even a big b*tch cockroach like you

should know...

never, never f*** with the King.

Oh-hh!

Hey! Is anybody out here?

I think we got some major

bug problems in this place, man.

Oh, man.

Jack?

Jack? Hey, man, you OK?

What the Sam Hill is that?

Mr Kennedy?

Hey, man. You're on the floor.

No sh*t? Who are you?

Look, I'm...

Sebastian. Sebastian Haff.

Did you see him go by in the hall?

- He scuttled, like.

- Who, man?

The one they sent.

- Who's they?

- Oh, you know who.

No, Jack, I don't. Come on, man.

Lyndon Johnson. Castro, maybe.

They sent somebody to finish me off.

I think maybe it was Johnson himseIf.

Real ugly. Real goddamn ugly!

Hey, look, man. President Johnson's dead.

Sh*t. That ain't gonna stop him.

Go to sleep.

So you say you heard a... a noise?

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