Bad Santa Page #2
for popping
way down low
Let it snow, let it snow
Jesus Christ!
Can you maybe keep it together|for just 10 minutes?
Harrison, just let me explain,|please. Financially --
Well, you get what you paid for,|Chipeska.
Five Christmases I've been here.
You flip me for some stranger|who'll do it for peanuts
and who happens to work|with a real midget.
Nobody cares.|Nobody comes here for the elf.
Santa's the attraction.
I do Burl lves songs.
Does this schmo|even play guitar?
Look, Harrison, it's not about|the money or the midget.
Believe me, if it was, I --
I don't think they like|"midget."
I think you're supposed to|call them...
Oh, just forget it.
Hacks!
Hi.
Bob Chipeska.|Welcome.
Great photo and rsum,|by the way.
Thanks.
We've been at this|a long time and all.
We'd like to think we do|a good job.
I'm so glad you guys could|come in on such short notice.
I must say,|your look is just sensational.
Thanks.
We've been at this for years.|You got nothing to worry about.
You two are the best men|for this job, truly.
So don't let his unpleasantness|affect your performance.
-Oh, no. We're fine.|-Performance?
Yes. Uh, your performance.|You know, the, um...
Performance, like sexual?
-Excuse me?|-Willie.
Are you saying there's|something wrong with my gear?
Is that what you're saying?
-I'm sorry. Your gear?|-Willie.
My f*** stick.
Hey, Willie.|Take a seat.
You know how|your blood sugar is.
He's not going to say "f***|stick" in front of the children?
No, no, no.|It's a joke.
An adult joke for us adults.
It's a joke.|Just a joke.
"F*** stick"?
Yes. I thought it was|very strange, too.
So, as our security chief,
I wanted you to be aware.
But his little friend promised|he wouldn't say it
in front of the children,|which is fine.
Because, you know,|there is an adult world
and a child's world,|and that's okay.
I'm no censor.
"Little friend"?
Yes, he happens to be a dwarf.
Or midget.
I don't know|what he's called exactly.
But, uh, he's a little guy.
Little Billy Barty.|God rest.
But thin fingers.
Not the fat sausage fingers.
"Little people."|That's what they like.
Yes. Uh, right.|Little people.
So "f*** stick."|That's it?
Yeah.
Merry Christmas!|Santa's coming. Yay!
Merry Christmas!|Santa's coming. Yay!
Merry Christmas!
Have you seen that new Santa|they just hired?
Yeah.|He's back there drunk.
He's coming, guys.|Santa will be here real soon.
God damn it!
What the f*** you doing?|You blow this, and we're broke.
So stop acting|like you know something.
'Cause, pal of mine,|you don't know squat!
Now, put on your hat|and get out there.
And try to act professional,|for Christ's sakes.
What do you want?
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