Any Given Sunday Page #2

Ollie, you're one of the few

relatives I can stomach...

...but you're the internist.

I'm the orthopedist, remember?

Bone, muscle, joint, me.

Runny nose, diarrhea, pinkeye, you.

Got it? Thanks.

Bad news, Cap. You're okay.

It's just a bruise.

No ribs broken.

Your back film's normal.

Something is definitely wrong here.

My butt is killing me!

I'll send you over for an MRI.

Doc, pull the pipes, man!

Doc, I got to go, man!

Call of the wild!

-Out of my way!

-Sharks football: Whatever it takes!

Place-kicker, out of the way!

I'm taking a dump, unless you want

to be in a shitstorm!

Don't bend your elbows.

Whatever. Do what you gotta do!

Sit down! Listen up!

Who are you throwing to? The receiver?

Or you got some other sh*t on your mind?

We just lost two goddamn quarterbacks...

...in one half of football...

...because our line...

...couldn't pick up a backside bandit

on max protection!

All week long we work on the calls.

Over, over, over again!

You are not f***ing focused!!

McKenna, what are you doing?!

Keep your head on a swivel!

Slide out there! Pick up that robber!

Roll up those outside linebackers!

Know your site adjustments.

Understand?

Sanderson and Fox

will break off their routes...

...but you gotta be there and deliver.

Two turnovers in one half!

Defense!

This is what we gotta do here.

I don't know.

You gotta do something out there.

You gotta make it happen.

You gotta stop flying around the ball!

Tackle somebody!

Don't let these guys

chew up the clock on us.

When we put eight in a box,

you gotta jam those receivers!

If you make mistakes, make them big.

I won't eat your lunch for that.

Here we got P.J.,

Mac, Beastman, Horny, Shark.

One-two yards less each time...

...they'll be looking at second and 8,

instead of second and 6.

We're only down by 3.

We can win this.

We got three losses in a row!

I'm sick and tired of this.

Are you?

Because if you're not,

raise your hand. Come on.

If you're going to act like a loser,

raise your hand.

If you're going to act like p*ssy,

raise your hand!

What are you doing, J?

I didn't want you to be the only p*ssy

with his hand raised, coach.

Gentlemen!

This is where we live!

We're not gonna let them

f*** with us in our house, are we?

Let's go out there and kick some

second-half butt!

We got a dance planned for you.

Payback's a b*tch!

Motherf***er!

I'll f***ing kill you, son of a b*tch!

Get this guy under control!

Settle him down!

Slot Left 90 Go Z Read.

Here we go.

Settle down, settle down.

Sh*t!

We got it back. We got it back.

Time-out, time-out.

It looks like back surgery...

...but I'm told he may be back

by playoffs.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote