And Now for Something Completely Different Page #2

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is too strong a word.

Uh, imagine that, uh,

I was not the only thing in her life.

You suspected your wife?

Well...

frankly, yes.

A bit.

Her behavior did seem to me--

Her behavior did seem to me.

who was there to see...

to be a little odd.

- Odd?

- To an extent.

I'm not by nature

a suspicious person.

I've got a reputation of an after-dinner

speaker, if you get my meaning.

I certainly do.

And in the area where people know me,

I'm very well known.

- Fine. Would you--

- Certainly.

It was time to face the facts,

stop beating about the bush...

or I'd never be able to look myself

in the bathroom mirror again.

Would you mind running along for 10--

make it 20 minutes. All right?

Yes. I'll wait outside,

shall I?

Yes, that-that's perhaps

the best thing.

Certainly set my mind at rest

on one or two scores there.

Arthur Putey!

Are you a man or a mouse?

You've been running too long,

Arthur Putey.

It's time to stop, time to turn

and fight like a man.

Go back in there,

Arthur Putey.

Go back in there

and pull your finger out.

Yes! Yes, you're right.

This is it, Arthur Putey!

This is your moment,

Arthur Putey!

At last you're a man!

Come out of there. Dierdre!

I know you're in there.

- Go away!

- Righto.

Oh, what a lovely little

Oh, what a lovely little--

- Oh, what a lovely little--

- Stop it! Stop right there!

This is absolutely disgusting,

and I'm not going to stand for it!

There. Kill

Cut! That's it. We're not going to allow

this sort of smut on the screen.

This depraved and degrading spectacle

is going to stop right now.

- Do you hear me? Stop it!

- Damn I Just when it was getting good.

Evening, squire.

You married?

- Yes.

- I'm a bachelor myself.

Is-- Is your wife a goer?

Eh? Know what I mean?

Nudge, nudge.

- Know what I mean? Say no more.

- I beg your pardon?

Your wife, does she go? Eh?

Know what I mean? Does she go?

- She sometimes goes.

- I'll bet she does.

Say no more.

Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge.

- I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.

- Follow me.

That's good. A nod's as good

as a wink to a blind bat.

- Look, are you selling something?

- Selling. Selling. Very good.

Know what I mean?

Oh, wicked. You're wicked, eh?

Nudge, nudge.

A nod's as good as a wink

to a blind bat.

- But...

- Your wife a sport, eh?

- She likes sport, yes.

- I bet she does.

She's very fond of cricket.

Who isn't, eh?

Likes games.

Knew she would.

Who doesn't. Eh?

She's been around a bit. Eh?

She's traveled.

She's from Purley.

Oh! Say no more.

Know what I mean?

Say no more.

Your wife interested in,

uh, photography, eh?

"Photographs, eh?"

he asked him knowingly.

- Photography?

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