Hitch Page #2

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- It could.

What are you doing? Go back to the beach.

- I don't want you here.

- No, really, you do.

You are becoming

a sick, workaholic lunatic...

and this is exactly...

the kind of nervous, overwrought behavior

that leads to...

Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette.

A very big raise.

Jesus. You could find dirt in a snowstorm.

Comes with the job.

You know, kiddo, there is more to life

than watching other people live it.

Can I help he was cheating on my beach?

I think it's great

that you're so good at your job.

I'm just a little worried as to why.

Let me worry about that.

Okay. I want that column on my desk

by lunch.

So you'll pay for my hotel?

For you to sip mai tais?

I don't think so. Get out.

- Come on.

- What?

- That's good, right?

- No.

No, it was in and it freaked out.

You know what your problem is, Hitch?

You're all about the short game.

You pick your shots

based on what you see first...

not what's necessarily best for you...

in the long run.

All of us are not married to the woman

of our dreams and about to have a baby.

You know, I'm very happy for you.

Just not meant for everybody.

So please just leave me to my hot, sweaty...

totally varied, wildly experimental

short game.

- I was talking about pool, but whatever.

- Yeah, okay.

Honestly, I just hope one day

you're able to experience...

the unconditional love, trust,

and openness...

that I share with Grace every single day.

- Is this really barroom talk?

- You need to listen to me. I'm serious.

Because when you get to a place

with a woman like that...

it's so beyond anything physical that...

when I think back to

when I used to run around with you...

and chase all these really gorgeous

but shallow women...

I don't know, it's kind of ridiculous

and vaguely pathetic.

Yeah, I see what you mean. That's pathetic.

So, how'd you meet him?

I was in La Perla

just buying some weekend thongs.

- And he was doing likewise?

- No.

Actually, he said he was buying something

for his mom.

His mom?

Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie

for their mother?

Well, maybe he was looking for a robe.

Casey, he was hitting on you while

he was buying lingerie for another woman.

- I prefer the mother story.

- I know you do, but that's not the point.

No, the point is I'm not gonna start out

assuming the guy's a liar.

- Why not?

- Because that's how you wind up...

Like me? Is that what you were gonna say?

No. I was gonna say, "Like you. "

- What's his name?

- Why?

- I'm gonna Google him.

- No. Google your own guy.

Let's just see if his mother's still alive.

- So when is Grace due again?

- Soon.

- You excited?

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