The Secret Lives of Dentists

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Teeth outlast everything.

Death is nothing to a tooth.

Hundreds of years in acidic soil

just keep teeth clean.

A fire that burns away

everything else, hair and skin...

... even bones,

leaves your teeth dazzling.

Open.

Life is what destroys teeth.

Undiluted apple juice

in baby bottles, sour balls.

The pH balance of drinking water,

tetracycline...

... sand in your bread...

... if you were in the Roman army.

Teeth are important.

Eskimo cultures abandoned

their old folks in the snow...

... when their teeth went, no matter

how good their health was otherwise.

In my experience...

... dentists are convinced patients

can't be trusted with their teeth.

Turn to me, please.

You can't grieve

for every tooth, though...

... every mouth.

You can't even grieve

for the worst of them.

You can only send the patient home

with as many teeth as possible.

Beside your present cavities, you've

got some poorly filled teeth here.

And one of your wisdom teeth

seems to have migrated.

You know, no dentist

I have ever known...

...has ever had anything good to say

about another dentist's work.

You notice that?

Well, I'm married to one

and we're big admirers of each other.

- One of your wisdom teeth...

- You better be cheap.

- Why is that?

- Because five years from now...

...some other guy's gonna tell me

he's got to redo all of your work.

Just watch.

- Open.

- They get more f***ed up every day.

I'm a trumpet player,

so don't mess with my front teeth.

That could screw up my embouchure.

Okay. Open.

I'm not so sure that I wanna open.

Maybe I wanna save my money

for something more valuable.

We ask patients to pay

for appointments they don't keep.

- Lf you're uneasy about discomfort...

- No, no, no. I don't care if it pinches.

I don't care if it hurts like hell. My

wife made this appointment for me.

I lost my job and she kicked me

out of the house.

- Hi.

- She gave me some little card...

...that told me to be here.

- How you doing?

I can't believe she still cares

if I go to the dentist.

We certainly don't care,

do we, doctor?

- Open up.

- Are you married to him?

- No. No, I'm single.

- Oh, really?

Yes.

I'm waiting for a man who takes

really good care of his teeth...

...which I can tell you don't.

Open, please.

- Lower right, Laura.

- Lower right.

Close, please.

Okay.

Open, please.

Turn to me.

Open.

Little wider, please. Little wider.

Okay.

This won't pinch, I assure you.

Now, nothing hot to drink, Mr. Slater,

at least for an hour or two.

No biting down, no chewing. Okay?

- Good.

- You're a free man.

That wasn't so bad, was it?

Nice. Very special.

- Have you ever been to an opera?

- No.

It is so beautiful, you know?

- I never paid attention to it, but...

- Need me to pick anything up?

I've got it taken care of.

- I'm on my new favorite theme.

- Yes. Rehearsal tonight?

- I'll cook, though.

- You sure?

- Okay, sorry to interrupt. Hi, Larry.

- Hi, Dave.

- Bye.

- Bye, Dave.

It's just like...

...all the things

you can't really say in life...

...but lifted. And so,

kind of, purified by the music.

Rinse, please.

- That's it, Larry.

- There's a lot of blood.

- Both of you... Both of you stop.

- You're kicking me.

- Yeah, I know.

- Stop kicking.

- Stop it.

- You don't want this, right?

- Dad?

- Stephanie?

- She watches you, so don't do it.

- I wasn't.

- There, you see?

- I wasn't kicking, I'm stretching.

Well, don't stretch.

Mom, jeez.

- It's so sad.

- I'll say.

- Don't encourage her, please.

- I'm sorry.

- You girls are gonna be hooked.

- Sprouts.

The music is so inspiring.

The Hebrew virgins

are begging God, see?

And they're saying...

- Take sprouts.

- I don't want any.

Try one, you might be surprised.

You might like it.

It sounds very beautiful in Italian.

Oh, and this is my favorite part.

I don't understand why people

don't like Brussels sprouts.

Stop it. She's still kicking me, Dad.

Leah, stop.

Stephanie, you taught her that.

You have a responsibility

to be a role model for her.

The fire quickly spread

to three alarms...

... in a building 39 stories high

with more than 450 apartments.

It took more than 160 firefighters

an hour and a half...

... to get the blaze under control.

Most residents who were injured

suffered from smoke inhalation.

All 12 firefighters...

Come.

Long rehearsal, huh?

- Good night.

- Good night.

Love you.

Remember when a year

seemed like a long time?

Yes, I sure do.

Daddy!

Daddy! Daddy!

- Hello, you.

- No, I want Daddy!

Okay.

She wants you.

Sorry.

Really?

She's a good eater, isn't she?

You know when you let bathwater out

and there's a lot of gray stuff in it?

- Yeah.

- That's your skin.

- It's true. That is your skin.

- It is? Skin?

Is that what you're studying?

Really?

- I gotta get dressed.

- Come here, sweetie.

Mommy will feed you. There you go.

- No!

- Hey!

Don't hit.

- It's all right.

- No, it's not.

Hey, you have to learn

to be more careful. Look at me.

- Look at me, you.

- She just loves you, that's all.

- It won't last.

- No hitting.

Daddy!

- Daddy!

- She'll stop soon, I promise, Carol.

- Don't you worry.

- I promise you, she'll be fine.

- Daddy!

- I'm gonna call you at intermission.

- You don't have to.

- Daddy!

- Have a great performance.

- Okay.

- Did not!

- Did too!

You lied to that poor girl.

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