The Ladykillers Page #5

INT. MUNSON HOUSE - STAIRCASE - NIGHT

...up the stairs.

DORR:

You see, madam, I am currently on

sabbatical from the institution where

I teach -- the University of

Mississippi at Hattiesburg. I am

taking a year off to indulge my

passion -- I don't believe that is

too strong a word -- for the music

of the Renaissance. I perform in --

and have the honor of directing -- a

period instrument ensemble that

performs at Renaissance fairs and

other cultural fora...

INT. MUNSON HOUSE - DORR'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

They enter a small bedroom. There is a small bed on a brass

frame, a chair, a wash basin, and cheerful yellow chintz

drapes on the window. Dorr appreciatively takes it in.

DORR:

...thoo-out central and southern

Mississippi. We perform on the

instruments for which the music was

originally composed, in the belief

that... that... Why, this is lovely...

MRS. MUNSON

Wait a minute. You got some kind of

band?

Dorr once again wiggles quotes with his fingers:

DORR:

The word "band" would be, in this

context, something of an anachronism.

Though we do play together -- hence

the word "ensemble" -- the nature of

the music is such that one would

hesitate to apply the epithet "band"

with its connotations of jangling

rhythm and ear-popping amplification.

MRS. MUNSON

So you don't play hippity-hop, "I

Left My Wallet in El Segundo," songs

with the titles spelt all funny?

DORR:

Madam, I shudder. I quake. The

revulsion I feel for modern popular

music, and all other manifestations

of contemporary decay, is, I have no

doubt, the equal of y'own. Why, we

play music that was composed to the

greater glory of God. Devotional

music. Church music.

MRS. MUNSON

Gospel music?

DORR:

Well-inspired by the gospels,

certainly. The vintage, of course,

is no more recent than the Rococo.

MRS. MUNSON

Rococo, huh? Well, I guess that'd be

okay.

DORR:

But I certainly don't propose to

inflict our rehearsals on you. May I

enquire -- do you have a root cellar?

INT. MUNSON HOUSE - CELLAR - NIGHT

Dorr ducks while descending the steep, narrow stair in order

to avoid an overhead beam. He is followed by Mrs. Munson.

DORR:

Yes, yes, yes, this looks promising...

He pulls on a hanging string to light a bare bulb overhead.

MRS. MUNSON

Little dank, ain't it?

DORR:

Oh, indeed, but that only improves

the acoustics...

He experimentally claps his hands.

DORR:

...Marvelous. These earthen walls

are ideal for baffling the higher

registers of the, uh, lute and, uh,

sackbutt. That's why so much music

of the cinquecento was played in

crypts and catacombs. Yes, this will

do nicely...

He dry-washes his hands with enthusiasm, but his tone remains

mournful.

DORR:

...This is perfect. This is more

than perfect. I can scarcely contain

my glee.

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