The Anniversary Party Page #6

JACK:

Uh, uh.

JOE:

He'll run next door into their backyard

and he'll bark and bark and bark and eat

their pitbull for his dinner. Is it a

pitbull?

RYAN:

(not amused)

No, actually.

JOE:

(to Jack)

Oh whatever. We don't want that to

happen, do we?

JACK:

No?

RYAN:

It's a rottweiler, actually.

(to Jack)

I don't think our rottweiler is in any

danger, Jack.

JOE:

Well, Jack and I are very relieved.

RYAN:

I thought this was a party. Are we going

to talk about the dog thing?

MONICA:

Please, Ryan.

JOE:

(kisses her cheek and shakes

his hand)

No, he's absolutely right. You're

absolutely right, Ryan. Dog talk must be

banned. Canine conversations are

completely discouraged... it's really

good of you to join us. Can I get you a

drink?

RYAN:

Not for me, thanks.

An awkward moment.

MONICA:

(checks with Ryan)

Something soft.

JOE:

Right away. Are you sure you wouldn't

like something soft, Ryan?

RYAN:

I'm sure, yes.

Sally has watched some of this from the archway, joins them

super-friendly.

SALLY:

Hi. Monica and Ryan?

MONICA:

Sally?

SALLY:

Yes. And you've met Joe.

RYAN:

Yes.

SALLY:

(a deep breath)

Well, so glad you decided to come.

MONICA:

We could hardly say no.

SALLY:

Oh?

Joe slips the coke into Monica's hand.

SALLY (CONT'D)

(takes the gift)

Thank you. This was so unnecessary. I

hope you've noticed that Otis isn't

barking as much. We keep him in at

night.

RYAN:

At 4:
30 today he barked for a solid

fifteen minutes. I have it on tape.

SALLY:

You're keeping a record, are you?

RYAN:

It's just very distracting when you're

trying to work.

MONICA:

Ryan.

RYAN:

(to Joe)

I'm sure you understand.

SALLY:

Well the neighborhood is full of dogs,

and it's not always Otis.

RYAN:

Well today it was Otis. And you should

keep him away from our yard. Because

Sheila will defend herself.

MONICA:

Ryan!

SALLY:

(cuts off response from Joe; to

Ryan)

Are you working on a new book?

RYAN:

(caught short; flattered)

Well, yes, actually.

MONICA:

He always has two or three going...

SALLY:

Really? Joe can't manage more than one

at a time. With huge gaps in between.

NEW ANGLE:

MAC and CLAIR FORSYTHE wave from the door. Clair's arms are

full of presents. Mac carries three video cameras under his

arm. He's got Otis by the collar.

MAC:

You lose this?

JOE:

(re:
Otis)

Ah there's our snookums now.

RYAN:

Yes, well, but I haven't won a Booker

either. Or the Whitebread.

MAC:

The gate was open.

SALLY:

Well, not yet.

(she reacts to Mac)

The gate was open?

JOE:

It's taken care of.

MONICA:

I think Ryan needs a new publisher. I

think he's outgrown him. They're just

not doing their job.

A silence. Awkward smiles go all around.

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