Strapped Page #2

You tell 'em.

You like this story more than me.

Whatever, queen!

So, they come and they take him

to the big, scary mansion, you know?

And little "Deep Throat" is still in her go-go outfit...

And his father's all... "blah, blah, blah!

No son of mine!"

Mayor talk, mayor talk, mayor talk...

Then he offers Deep Throat here,

a truckload of money and sh*t...

a college education, a job...

And all Deep Throat has to do is, you know...

...end this depraved life...

of godless buttfucking, right?

So, Eddie here, says...

Father! I am as God made me,

and to follow you would be the greatest sin of all.

I know the story!

From My Own Private Idaho...

Keanu Reeves, River Phoenix...

Shut the f*** up!

I saw it, you saw it!

Every gay man in the universe has seen it.

I never saw it.

Yes, he's like, the mayor's

son or the governor's son...

No. No, no, this is why no one talks to you!

That's why no one listens to you!

- If Eddie says his daddy is the mayor...

- Was the mayor!

Was the mayor. Thank you, Eddie.

Then Eddie's daddy was the mayor!

Yeah, right, okay.

Yeah, he's the litmus test of reality right now.

- You wanna-- you wanna leave?

-No.

Then shut the f*** up.

- You win... I'm listening.

- Yeah? Okay. Shhh!

- Quiet... shhh....

B*tch! Always have to say something

that's f***in' up my f***in' high!

Anyway, little Eddie has this big ultimatum, right?

She has to clean up and go to college...

or live the life of a hussy.

And she said I am as God made me?

A dirty buttfucking, cum-eating whore?

And she's cut off, without a cent!

And that takes balls...

Here, have a toot!

No, that's okay.

Who are you?

Free drugs!

I used to have to push him out of the house!

"No Eddie, there's no more drugs!

Go home! God, you're a machine!"

Here! Take!

What's in the bottle?

Fine.

"Sassy-pants," a drink for our guest.

Get this man a drink!

Because you're a man now, aren't you, Eddie?

Yeah.

Little Miss Deep Throat.

He's all Mr. Clean and Sober now.

Is that part of being a man?

I guess you'll never know.

Check you with the attitude, Mr. Big Cock!

Not big enough for that

wide old hole of yours!

--Whoooooooo --Whoooooooo

Oh, the lip, I love it!

Show us your cock, c'mon,

just the head, just the one eye, c'mon...

How much?

Q me?

I'm strictly cash now.

You gotta pay to play.

Oh, no!

My little Eddie's all grown up.

I think I'm gonna cry.

It's hard to see them go....

No sir!

Not a dancin' slut no more.

Not a drugged out devil, but,

a real bona fide whore!

Cash only! Please!

I am an agent of desire.

A what? I like that.

"Do not ask me who I am,

and do not ask me to remain the same."

Hey, Dirk, what movie's that from?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes