Small Town Saturday Night

1

And good morning.

I'm Bill Barrett.

- Hello. I'm Tim Fox.

- We are...

- Barrett and Fox.

- New Country 93.3.

Weather is gonna be out of this world.

We're starting to get into that part

of the summertime when it's really warm.

It's gonna heat up big time today

and it's gonna stay this way

for the rest of the week.

If you're gonna be taking the kids up

on the McKenzie today,

it's a great idea,

but always think safety.

Remember, there's a lot of stores

right along the McKenzie.

Stop in, maybe pick up

life vests for the kids.

Yeah, you can borrow them for the day.

Don't forget that.

You can borrow them for the day.

Use them and bring them

back to the shop.

Another thing to remember is...

F***.

This is good.

Thanks, Jerry.

I'll see you around.

I ain't here to bust your balls

if that's what you're thinking.

Well, I ain't here to kiss your ass

if that's what you're thinking.

Listen, man.

Look, I'm not the judge.

All right?

I'm just the deputy.

Let's shake hands

and just put this behind us.

Come on.

I'll just give you a lift into town.

Why don't you take off that badge

and see if you still

wanna shake hands then?

Yeah, that's about what I thought.

You stay away from them, Donny.

I mean it.

- Hey, babe.

- Morning.

Come here.

You're up early.

Yeah. I had this melody

stuck in my head.

You think you can get off early today?

Yeah, I'll try.

lt depends on whether

Charlie comes by or not.

Don't worry.

We'll get it all done.

When? I mean, we still

gotta finish the living room

and start on the kitchen

and Megan's room.

- Then we gotta clean up the place.

- Hey.

Look, I'll help you

pack up the living room

before I play tonight, okay?

And then we'll finish up

everything tomorrow

before the truck gets here.

Good morning, sleepyhead.

Munchkin, come here.

Get up here.

Uh-oh, come on!

I think I got someone.

I think I got someone.

Leslie?

Leslie?

Oh, nuts.

- Leslie--

- Mom!

What is going on up here?

ls that your father's beard trimmer?

I'm shaving my legs.

Well, I need you to cut

the grass this morning.

- But, Mom--

- Don't ''But, Mom.''

Leslie Ryan, you live here rent-free.

I don't ask much of you.

Now you can ride your bicycle

and you can shave your legs

after you do the lawn.

Oh, Megpie, Megpie,

gimme your waffle.

No no.

Hey!

- Megan, are you done?

- Yeah.

All right, bring me your plate,

sweetheart.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

All right, I'd better get going.

Megpie, you wanna grab

my work shirt for me?

- Sure.

- All right, sweetheart.

- It's on my bathroom door.

- Okay.

What's wrong?

Here you go.

All right, are you gonna

help me put it on?

- Sure.

- We seem to have trouble with this one.

Your arm goes through the hole.

- That one? I'm gonna try that one.

- Okay.

- No, that's the wrong one, ding-dong.

- lt is?

- Yeah.

- No, I don't think so.

- I'll call you later.

- Okay.

I'm gonna need some help here.

Love bug?

- See ya.

- All right.

- I love you, ladies.

- Love you. Bye.

- Bye.

- Bye.

What?

- He's funny, isn't he?

- Yeah, he's funny.

Okay, you'd better go brush your teeth

and get ready to go see Daddy, okay?

- Okay.

- All right.

Tommy, this just came in for you

from Child Services.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

- You need some aspirin, sweetie?

- No no, I'm gonna be fine.

I just need some sleep, that's all.

Thanks.

Jesus Christ Almighty.

What the f*** did you eat?

My wife made tacos last night.

You really need to see a f***in' doctor.

You're late.

What are they gonna do, fire me?

It's my last day.

- I would.

- No, you wouldn't.

Then you'd actually have to work.

Yeah, right.

So what are you gonna do

after I'm gone, huh?

Oh, sh*t.

You mean Charlie ain't hired

anybody else yet?

Not that I know of.

He been by yet?

Hey, Herb.

Herb...

I'll suck you off for 20 bucks.

I'll pass.

Charlie?

Really?

Wow, that sounds fun.

Okay, let me talk to Mommy again.

I love you too.

Hey.

Sounds like she's liking her new school.

Well, no sh*t, Theresa.

Why didn't you think about that

before you uprooted them

and moved them halfway

across the state?

- Who the f*** are you?

- Angie! What?

Who the f*** are you?

- You got a problem?

- Who are you?

None of your f***in' business,

that's who I am.

- ls that right?

- Yeah.

- You're f***ing Angie now?

- Yeah.

- It's called an upgrade.

- Please. F***ing pathetic.

Hey, why don't you brush your teeth?

What'd you f***ing say about my teeth?

You'll be picking yours

off the ground, you p*ssy.

Okay, fine.

Look, I don't wanna

keep talking about this

every time we get on the phone.

What'd you f***ing say?

What'd you f***ing say?

- I'll see you Friday. Bye.

- Donny, no!

- Wade, get up. Donny's back.

- So?

Wade, get up!

Come on, man. Seriously.

- God damn it, you f***ing a**hole!

- Get off.

- Get off him.

- F***ing let go!

- Chill the f*** out.

- A**hole!

Keep that piece of sh*t

away from my son.

F*** you!

Okay okay.

That's enough, for f***'s sake.

Rodney, take her back inside.

I am filing a restraining order.

You're not seeing your son again.

Go ahead, call Tommy,

you f***ing c*nt.

- I f***in' hate you!

- B*tch.

- Angie, go inside.

- Angie, come on, baby.

- Let's get in the house.

- F***.

How are you guys, man?

You f***ing kidding me?

Donny, you can't fight

every guy she starts f***ing.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes