On the Beach Page #2

of how I was gonna get there.

But Etienne--

and I have to hand it to the guy--

was great.

I mean, he organized

the whole thing:

tickets, time tables,

the whole damn trip--

Bangkok to Surat Thani,

Surat Thani to Na Thon,

Na Thon to Chawang--

at less than 400 baht.

Trust me, it's a very good deal.

We were headed

for the great unknown,

but to get there,

we had to follow

the regular tourist trail.

# A little less pushin' #

# Or shovin', take it easy #

#You could even get sleazy #

# Come around #

#Watch a movie #

#With the sound down #

# And get woozy #

We are fine. It's arranged.

Tomorrow morning.

Oh, great, man.

Nice work.

There's one problem.

He will not take us

to the island.

It's in the National Park,

and it's forbidden to go there.

But we are allowed

to travel to this one

to stay for one night.

Yeah, yeah. No.

See, that's the wrong one.

Yeah, I know that.

Right, but how do we

get from there to there?

We swim.

We swim?

Yeah.

We leave our rucksacks

on this island,

and then we swim.

You can swim, can't you, Richard?

Of course I can swim.

So, no problem.

Okay, so how far is it, though?

I don't know.

Cool. Cool.

Not far at all.

Stop it, Richard.

It will be worth it.

An adventure,

and just the 3 of us!

"Can you swim?"

Of course I can swim.

"Oh, yeah, I am French,

and I have zee beautiful

girlfriend, too, eh?"

Great!

God damn it!

Locked out, huh?

Yeah.

Lost your key?

Bummer.

Yeah, bummer.

So you wanna grab a beer or somethin'?

You're probably better off

without her, anyway, bro.

Sammy, how the f*** would you know

if he's better off without her or not?

You've never even met her!

I'm just tryin' to help the guy

through the dark times.

It's not a problem.

You see, Zeph?

It's not a problem.

Change the f***in' subject.

All right. Let's talk about

how you spend an hour

in front of the mirror every day.

Oh, that's nice.

You know this guy?

He likes to wipe his ass

with tree leaves.

He thinks he's some sort

of jungle commando.

- i swear to God.

- whatever.

Damn.

I presume you know the story

of the Kentucky-fried mouse.

Yeah.

A woman bites into a chicken leg,

and it turns out to be a...

a mouse...

right?

- Right.

- A mouse.

It's an urban myth.

Exactly. It always happened

to a friend of a friend

of someone else.

So?

So, I guess there's this urban myth

goin' around here at the moment.

It's about a beach.

Yeah?

Uh-huh.

Huh.

And this beach is perfect, man.

It's on an island, right?

Hidden from the sea.

Now, imagine, you got...

pure white sand...

crystal-clear water...

palm trees.

Yeah. With coconuts and sh*t.

Yo, tell him the best part, dawg.

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