Noviembre

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NOVEMBER:

Alfredo.

November was Alfredo.

Whenever I ask myself

that question,

it's the only answer

I can think of.

November was Alfredo.

MADRlD, SEPTEMBER 1997

Is this where the auditions are?

-Yes. Are you lmanol Astiarraga?

-No, why?

His name just got called.

I thought maybe it was you.

I think my audition's at five,

but I'm not sure.

Ask the lady.

She should be right out.

-You're the only person here?

-No...

I met him in the hallway

at acting school.

Just before our entry auditions.

I remember perfectly

because he caught my eye.

He had a black knapsack

over his shoulder

with some sort of bizarre

marionette sticking out.

He looked pretty odd.

-Where are you from?

-Murcia.

A small town in Murcia

called Lorca.

-And you live here?

-No, I just came to audition.

I said he could stay with us.

You guys are squatters, right?

In a home?

Not a home,

an abandoned building.

-We want to open a cultural center.

-With recreation.

Social services, painting...

A bit of everything.

It was an old abandoned building

near Lavapies.

It had previously been a printer's.

Daniel, the group and l

all moved in there in '96.

A year before Alfredo

got to Madrid.

-It's darling.

-Yeah, wait.

Careful. I'd better show you.

Right, the stick moves it.

And with this

you move the neck

and with this, the eyes.

And with this, the mouth.

Where'd you get it?

I made it.

-Alfredo...

-What?

What are these a**holes

Iooking at?

I think I found a place

to sleep tonight.

So tell me, how's Madrid?

Madrid?

It's enormous, mom. Huge.

How's dad?

So-so.

He'll get over it.

Say hi for me.

And to Alejandro.

Have you auditioned yet?

Not yet, mine's at five.

Call me when you've finished.

What?

It's crowded.

I can barely hear you.

-Call me when you've finished.

-I will, don't worry.

I'm out of coins, mom.

I'll call you when I find a place.

Mom...

I love you guys a lot.

Big kiss.

We love you, too.

He'd made it for his brother

in a puppet-making class

he took while he was in law school.

Her name was Aphrodite.

He was quite fond of her.

He even said that

if it hadn't been for his brother

and that marionette,

he'd never have gone into theater.

Yes!

Yes!

Holy sh*t. Goddamn.

Yes.

He left it all behind.

Family, friends... He was plagued

by guilt for a long time

for having left Alejandro.

But he was absolutely

thrilled to be in Madrid.

Back then, Alicia and l

were living in the building

and I invited him to move in.

Alfredo!

Alfredo!

Alfredo!

Yes, you can. Please, tell me.

-What for? It'd make no difference.

-Yes, it would.

It can't be so bad.

Maybe if you told me you'd realize

it's not as bad as you think.

Okay, just once.

-Just one time.

-No, that's enough.

-Roll a joint.

-Okay.

Tell me, Juan.

You've got to tell me.

You can't keep it inside forever.

Let it out, my love.

I'll roll that joint.

-ln Argentinian.

-No.

-Peruvian.

-No.

-English.

-No way.

Japanese?

Over my dead body.

Another joint?

Okay.

Can you help us out?

-Here, Alfredo.

-Thanks.

Okay, here's the take.

Alfredo, that's your share.

That's not necessary.

-Go on, take it.

-No.

You guys keep it.

The other day you said no as well.

Quit f***ing around, just take it.

That's not why I do it.

I don't want it.

I enjoy doing it.

F*** the money.

That's irrelevant.

I enjoy it, too.

So why not get paid for it?

Here.

Keep your damn money, Dani.

I don't want it now, or ever.

-Are you kidding me?

-Pay him.

He is joking.

No, I'm not.

I really don't want the money.

Is that so hard to understand?

So your motivation is

love of art?

No, I just think

it's the only way.

Taking money in the end

means selling out.

Is that what you'll say

if you get offered an acting job?

-You "enjoy" it?

-I don't want to be a paid actor.

Then why the hell are you here?

I told you. To start an independent

theater company. Free street shows.

That's why I'm here.

Tell me, Juan.

You've got to tell me.

You can't keep it inside forever.

Let it out, darling.

Tell me what happened.

Please, tell me.

I can't.

Yes, you can.

Yes, you can.

Yes, you can.

It can't be that bad. Maybe if

you told me you'd realize...

I can't.

Yes...

I can't.

Alfredo.

Has anything ever happened to you

that you're ashamed to tell?

What? I couldn't hear you.

Something... unmentionable.

Something you've never told anyone.

Unmentionable?

I don't think so.

We all have some dark secret.

Surely you do as well.

There is one thing,

but I'd rather forget it.

There is? Tell us about it.

I was just a kid at the time.

No matter. Go on.

Well, the people who raised me

aren't my biological parents.

I was adopted.

Go on.

My parents died in a car crash

when I was six.

That's not a secret.

I imagine your friends knew,

the people around you...

Nobody knows.

I've never told anyone.

Why?

Why mention it now?

Why hide it?

I don't know. I always have.

I've never known why,

I just do.

Do you remember

when your parents died?

You don't remember.

What's wrong, Alfredo?

Nothing, I can't.

Yes, you can.

I can't.

Yes, you can.

Lucia... your line.

Tell me, Juan.

You've got to tell me.

You can't keep it inside forever.

You have to tell me, my love.

You have to let it out.

I can't.

Now that's believable.

That's what I mean.

I can't get up in front of people.

Christ, Dani.

Juggling's one thing,

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