Mr 3000 Page #2

in front of you, a living legend.

A certified immortal.

And I know you don't know

a whole lot of immortals.

- Easy, old man.

- Old man?

What you mean is "aged",

like USDA beef.

- It's what's for dinner.

- Not on my plate.

- No?

- No.

Monstrous.

Just ain't like the old days, huh, Boca?

Spring training. You can practically

smell the grass, can't you?

Can't say I can, man.

What, you don't miss it?

Miss it? Nah.

Nah.

See, Stan didn't make too many friends

when he was playing here.

He wasn't very good with the press.

We invited him to Old-timers' Day

every year since he retired.

That's nine years.

And he never RSVP'd once.

Look, he might not want to do this,

you know what I'm saying?

No. What are you saying?

I'm just saying, Stan Ross Day.

Retire his number.

The fans, man.

Did he go for it?

Did you hit him with the fans bit?

How about the part where you say

you didn't know if I would do it?

Boca, I swear, when you get going,

you can talk a stripe off a zebra.

Monstrous.

Welcome to beautiful Miller Park.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we're here today to retire number 21,

worn by one of the Brewers'

all-time greats.

Seven times an All-Star,

a member of that exclusive

3,000-base-hit club,

the Wizard of Wood,

the Count of Contact

and the King of the Swing,

Milwaukee's own Mr 3000 -

Stan Ross.

Damn. I still look good.

He hasn't lost his touch, has he?

And joining us today

to pay tribute to Stan,

let's welcome former team-mate

Bill "Big Horse" Borelli.

Who?

I think he played with you

a couple of months in '79.

He was a middle reliever.

What happened to Paul Molitor, man?

Robin Yount? Cecil Cooper?

- What happened to them?

- They declined.

We're lucky we got him.

You know, a lot of people said

that Stan only looked out for himself,

that he wasn't a team player.

But I'm here to tell you

that if you get 3,000 hits,

you don't have to be a team player.

What?

If you have a lifetime.314 average,

you don't have to be a good guy.

If you lead the league

in batting for three years,

you can be the biggest jerk in the world.

He laughin', man. He laughin'.

So, on behalf of all of us

who played alongside of you,

congratulations.

Go on, go on, man.

You can't help me now.

Also here with us today,

you remember him well,

number eight, Anthony Carter.

All right, now, come on.

Tell them like it is, Boca.

Come on, baby. Now we're talkin'.

Me and Stan were team-mates.

Man, could he hit the ball.

Tell 'em, baby.

- And I loved him for that.

- I love you more.

That's it?

I'm trying to get enshrined, Boca.

That's it?

Man, y'all killin' me, man.

All right, Milwaukee, let's hear it

for our Brewers' own Stan Ross.

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