Monty Python and the Holy Grail Page #3
- PG
- Year:
- 1975
- 91 min
- 6,315 Views
1 EXTERIOR - CASTLE WALLS - DAY
Mist. Several seconds of it swirling about. silence
possibly, atmospheric music. SUPERIMPOSE "England AD 787".
after a few more seconds we hear hoofbeats in the distance.
They come slowly closer. Then out of the mist comes KING ARTHUR
followed by a SERVANT who is banging two half coconuts
together. ARTHUR raises his hand.
ARTHUR:
Whoa there!
SERVANT makes noises of horses halting, with a flourish. ARTHUR
peers through the mist. CUT TO shot from over his shoulder:
castle (e.g. Bodium) rising out of the mist. On the castle
battlements a SOLDIER is dimly seen. He peers down.
SOLDIER:
Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR:
It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle
of Camelot. King of all Britons, defeator of the Saxons,
sovereign of all England!
Pause.
SOLDIER:
Get away!
ARTHUR:
I am... And this my trusty servant, Patsy. We have ridden the
length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join
our court at Camelot.. I must speak with your lord and master.
SOLDIER:
What? Ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR:
Yes!
SOLDIER:
You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR:
...What?
SOLDIER:
You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging
them together.
ARTHUR:
(Scornfully)
So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this
land, through the kingdom of Mercea.
SOLDIER:
Where did you get the coconuts?
ARTHUR:
Through ... We found them.
SOLDIER:
Found them? In Mercea. The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR:
What do you mean?
SOLDIER:
Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR:
The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin
or the plover seek warmer hot lands in winter, yet these are
not strangers to our land.
SOLDIER:
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR:
Not at all. They could be carried.
SOLDIER:
What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR:
Why not?
SOLDIER:
I'll tell you why not ... because a swallow is about eight
inches long and weighs five ounces, and you'd be lucky
to find a coconut under a pound.
ARTHUR:
It could grip it by the husk ...
SOLDIER:
It's not a question of where he grips it, It's a simple
matter of weight - ratios ... A five-ounce bird could not
hold a a one pound coconut.
ARTHUR:
Well, it doesn't matter. Go and tell your master that
Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
A Slight pause. Swirling mist. Silence.
SOLDIER:
Look! To maintain Velocity, a swallow needs to beat
its wings four hundred and ninety three times every
second. right?
ARTHUR:
(irritated)
Please!
SOLDIER:
Am I right?
ARTHUR:
I'm not interested.
SECOND SOLDIER:
(who has loomed up on the battlements)
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