Malicious Page #2

A reggae band?

Babes, Doug.

I'm talking about women.

Wait a second.

Pardon me.

I've been on Prozac for a month

and my thighs are swelling.

And I was wondering

if you knew anything about...

Hi, Doug.

Do I know you?

No.

But everyone here seems to know you.

Small town.

Baseball team, you know.

- Want a cigarette?

- No, thanks. I don't smoke.

They're American Heritage.

All natural. No chemicals.

They're practically good for you.

I like your beard.

Oh, thanks.

Makes you look

kind of like Mark McGwire.

- You know Mark McGwire?

- Oakland A's.

229 home runs,

632 RBIs.

- You're into baseball.

- Obsessed.

- I guess you play.

- Yeah.

Do you go to Bellport?

- Second year med school.

- Last year pre med.

I'm Melissa, by the way.

Hi, Melissa.

So...

What brings you here?

I mean, you...

You seem above all this nonsense.

You don't like parties?

No, they're all right.

It's just...

Have a lot of studying

I should be doing.

And I have to write my MCAT soon.

Welcome to a new dimension in misery.

What's your major?

Major League Baseball, hopefully.

But kinesiology and anatomy.

Anatomy?

My favorite.

Okay.

So tell me about your girlfriend.

Who says that I have a girlfriend?

Oh, come on.

Guys like you always do.

Unless, of course,

they don't like girls.

What do you want to know about it?

Well...

How long have you been going out?

Three years.

Really?

Something like that. Yeah.

Serious?

Yeah, I guess so.

Thanks for the cigarette.

Hey, what's your hurry?

Excuse me?

The night's young.

Why don't we go somewhere?

- Like Where?

- Anywhere you Want.

I don't think so.

I mean, you seem like

a really nice person.

But, like I said, I'm seeing someone.

Then Why are you here

at this party without her?

She's got a big interview this weekend.

Stanford School of Journalism.

- Stanford?

- Yeah.

Impressive.

So how long is she gonna be gone for?

- A few days.

- Gonna miss her?

Yeah, sure.

Doesn't sound very convincing.

I should go.

I have a game tomorrow.

It was really nice meeting you.

See you around, slugger.

Sh*t.

You looking for these?

- Where did you find those?

- On the dock.

You must have dropped them.

- Thanks.

- Wait a minute.

- Are you okay to drive?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

I don't know.

I saw you drinking a lot in there.

Thank you, but I'm fine.

- Okay, touch your nose.

- What?

Come on, like this.

Touch your nose.

Very good.

Now with your tongue.

Very funny.

Can I have my keys, please?

You don't have much

of a sense of humor, do you?

- I have a terrific sense of humor.

- Oh, yeah?

Yeah, if I run down one more old lady,

I win a prize.

Now give me my keys, please.

My mother was run over

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes