La grande sauterelle

---

People are like words.

There's the ones I like

and the ones I don't like.

When I don't like, I eliminate.

Words, people, I eliminate.

"Eliminate", it's a word I don't like.

Eliminate it.

What an a**hole you are.

Not even an a**hole, you're just dumb.

You never go to the movies,

you don't keep yourself informed.

You maybe don't even have a brain.

If I look at you from above,

I'll probably see your teeth.

At the root of it, you're maybe

touching the truth by being so dumb.

When you start putting

your nose into knowledge,

it's worst than dope.

I started getting

a taste for it in the pen.

Want an example?

"Setting of scores",

What does it mean?

Don't answer,

it doesn't mean anything.

Scores are never set.

"Perfect crime",

what does it mean?

When a crime is perfect,

we call it an accident.

Why not say

"accident" on the first place?

Accidents only

happen to motherfuckers.

Here we go.

There's no need to tail him.

In 2 minutes 26 seconds,

small explosion,

swerve of the car.

Banal accident.

We're the first aid.

Sh*t, they're gonna

blast everything!

Fire, watch out!

Sh*t, it's failed.

Help! Call the fire service!

Fire! Fire!

No!

It's screwed for the diamonds.

Here! Here!

See you soon, scumbag.

Hurry up!

It's still a nice accident.

Your luggage.

No luggage.

- Where in town?

- In town.

It's funny, the less you have bread,

the further you go.

Middle east, Lebanon,

you don't even know where it is.

And suddenly, you're there.

Any luggage, sir?

They'll come by the road,

with my driver.

Take Mr Zimmerman to n17.

Some city smell oil,

some others smell fish.

Others smell death.

Beyrouth smells money.

My own fuel went up in smoke.

At the best, I have 48 hours.

Provided that I don't get

too hungry or too thirsty,

and don't score anything too pricey.

Hey!

Alfred?

As you see, Alfred!

What are you doing here?

Holidays. And you?

Me too.

Money here is like everywhere else,

you have to get it.

Business is becoming

harder and harder.

I've been working on a job for months.

Want to know about it?

- No.

- You must be at ease.

Jewelry collection, ruby, necklaces...

All you might need, ladies.

Come have a look at our collection.

I always had ups and downs.

Unlike you.

You have to fight,

you can't live on a single success.

But with the job I'm working on,

things might change. For good.

Got any money?

Yes.

- Pay him.

- Is that so...

If we make it, we split, huh?

- By the way, Alfred...

- What?

Your job,

it's not only buying lottery tickets?

My job is a safe.

And here's my safe.

It's empty now. I'll wait until it's full.

Sammy Grubert.

Oil, tin mines,

electronic equipment...

An income of a billion a year.

The craziest big-time gambler

I've ever seen.

You should see the dough

he's loosing on the green baize.

I've been tailing him

for the last three months.

Evian, Vittel, Vichy,

Forges-les-Eaux,

Divonne-les-Bains.

Did you see may face?

I'm never in bed before 6 a.m.

I can't stand him anymore.

One day, he'll win.

He'll make a fortune.

He'll exit the casino

with 300 or 400 million.

We'll just have to rob him.

Who's that, "we"?

Us.

I mean you.

Watch out!

What clothes have you got?

Those.

I'll show you the shirts.

Here.

Shirts, and after what?

You're a spoiled child!

Do you really need a tuxedo?

Depends on your billionaire,

it's not up to me.

Here's what we have.

Silken poplin...

Do you have something in nylon?

It saves the ironing.

You wash in the bathtub,

and you let it dry.

Two like this.

- All right.

Red again...

The red came out

three times in a row.

If it stays that way,

the table will break.

That would be a pity.

Especially for the croupier.

With her golden hair

and pretty hands.

If you hear me, horn.

Must be a Swedish girl.

Don't you like Swedish girls?

I like girls who smell like salt.

Don't you like salt?

Don't get mad.

I'm just trying to tell you

some pretty things.

Just try your mic and pretend

you're making a movie.

I won't tell you anything more,

you don't deserve it.

End of transmission.

I've your mic on my chest

and Gruber is facing me.

But it's not for tonight.

He doesn't see a card.

Gamblers are funny.

They don't look like anything else.

They're all quirks and habits.

I used to know one who put

a statue of Our Lady

of Perpetual Help on the table.

Grubert's religion is green and gold.

And most of all, cash money.

Never any cheque.

The gambling money,

he wants to feel it.

For him, it's velvet,

by the double meaning of the term.

Alfred is right.

The day cards will be nice on him,

Grubert is gonna cash a lot.

One day,

he'll get up with a kilo in chips.

We'll just have to cash the jackpot.

Unlucky, Mr Grubert ?

- No.

- Cash?

Of course.

Cash is beautiful like a love song.

But "Unlucky, Mr Grubert",

are the kind of lyrics

I don't want to hear anymore.

Nice evening, Mr Grubert?

- A couple of funny hands.

- Tomorrow, maybe?

Maybe. Good evening.

He's not reasonable.

He loses 500 grands

without batting an eyelid,

but he'd get his kicks

for a few coins!

That too...

That too, it's a funny race.

It can pays

as much as Alfred's trick,

but you need heart and health.

- Good evening, Mr Grubert.

- Good evening.

Pigs are a funny race too.

Sh*t. A pigsty.

Mr Grubert's car!

Good evening, sir.

Thank you.

We're not good for 300 million,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes