Evil Under the Sun Page #2

It was very... stylish.

Boat's coming in, Daphne.

Prepare to repel boarders.

That'll be Arlena.

Do you mean Arlena Stuart?

No, Arlena Marshall. She remarried

a couple of months ago.

Oh, good God, darling, I didn't know

she was coming. Oh, how marvellous!

I am her greatest fan.

It will just make my vacation.

Did any of you happen to see that

last show of hers,Hail and Farewell?

Hail and farewell, I'll never tell

You've cast a spell over me...

We produced it.

Remember, dear?

Oh, good God, darlings,

I plumb forgot.

Isn't that the one that

she walked out on after just three weeks

and your biggest hit in years?

You know damn well it was.

And just what was that?

A sudden breakdown in health?

More like a sudden attack of

gold digging.

Which rather turned it into

"Sail and Farewell", eh?

Funny man.

Well, if that's Arlena, she must be

being dressed by Woolworths these days.

Oh, that's the Redferns. Patrick

and Christine, I seem to remember.

Excuse me, I must put my hostess hat on.

Anyway, darlings,

it must have cost you a pretty bundle

closing a hit show like that.

Would either of you

care to comment?

Why don't you go

and play with yourself?

Excessively.

Is coarseness a substitute

for wit, I ask myself.

Hello! I'm Daphne Castle.

Welcome to the island.

How do you do?

Looks lovely. I'm sure

we'll have a nice time here.

Oh. And a naughty one,

too, I hope.

- Would you care to sign in?

- Naughty?

What are the holidays for,

if you can't do a spot of flirting

and get a bit pissy boots?

Quite right. Do you fancy a walk

around the island before lunch, dear?

Patrick! You know perfectly well

that I've got a splitting headache

and I've got all the

unpacking to do.

Andrea will show to your room,

if you like.

Thank you.

After two days

on that suffocating steamer

I would have really thought that

you'd have more consideration for me.

Anyway, I'm no good at...

Thank you for those three hours

of pure and unadulterated hell.

This may come as a nasty surprise

to you,

but shock absorbers have been standard

on motorized vehicles for 30 years.

Stop playing boules with my Vuitton!

Linda, you gormless oaf, do something!

Like what?

Like stop them, cretin.

Kenneth! This is a nightmare.

Take it easy, Arlena.

We'll soon be there.

Soon can't be soon

enough for me.

Of all the dreadful

journeys...

Isn't that the absurd little man

we saw in the station at Tirana?

Pinched the only decent taxi

from under your nose.

Yes,

I do believe it is.

Good morning.

Since we are all obviously going

to Daphne's island,

I'd better introduce myself.

I'm Kenneth Marshall

and this is my wife, Arlena.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes