Earth vs. the Spider

Everybody, l woke up

and l said, "You go to hell."

I can't do anything.

I don't have any power. I'm nothing.

I'm nothing.

Yo, Willie. You okay?

Very nice. Thanks.

Morning to you too.

Hey, come on! Get back here, b*tch!

Thor, you ever wish

you had another hand?

See you, buddy.

Hey, Quentin.

Hey, Stephanie. How are you?

I'm fine. Going to work?

Yeah. Paying the rent.

Can you believe

we pay to live here?

-Hi. There's my boy.

-Get back, Thor. I'm sorry.

Come here.

The mighty Thor, god of thunder.

Exactly.

Right on.

-See you, Thor.

-Wait, l'll walk you down.

-Are you a doctor yet?

-Yeah. You see my Beamer out front?

I'm a nursing student. I moved

here to be close to the hospital.

-You're not from here?

-No, a little town.

Didn't exactly fit into their mold,

so here l am.

That's too bad.

No, it's okay.

Small town, small minds, right?

Anyway, l wanted to help people.

They need more help here.

Yeah, it's rough here.

Yeah. Did you see the front page?

That Midtown creep?

Yeah. All those cops,

and they can't catch this guy?

I swear, if l was in uniform...

...l would not sleep

until l smashed that insect.

I'm sorry.

It's not right, it makes me mad.

I hate it when the bad guys win.

You ever catch

any bad guys at the Bio...?

ChemCo? No. I did catch a guy

kicking the snack machine once.

-Did you take the perp down?

-Yeah. No, l mean....

-Oh, nurse. I got me a pain.

-Kiss and make it all better.

No need to disrespect.

Tell me you're not hooking up

with this rent-a-pig.

-He just guards her tight little ass.

-You should guard your mouth.

-Who's protecting who here?

-You guys just back off.

Or what? You'll pull out your gun?

Oh, f***! He don't have a gun.

-He's got his little mace can.

-I'll call the cops.

By the time they get here,

l'll be scraping Renty off my boots.

-Renty, go guard a pile of crap.

-Like the one you crawled out from?

-Clowns.

-You didn't have to do that.

-Do what?

-Stick up for me.

No, l wasn't sticking up for you, l--

See you later.

Get your ass over here.

-Came in last night.

-Oh, man! This is just....

I know, dude. It rocks!

But it's 300 dead presidents. Damn!

That is a big problem.

Hell, no. Because l'm putting it

on a layaway deal for you.

-Pay me in installments.

-Seriously?

You're my number one

Arachnid Avenger fan.

This is so cool.

This morning started out bad.

Yeah, yeah. You can blow me later.

Okay, so now, check this out.

1 .1 of the new graphic novel series.

-I've been waiting for this.

-This kicks ass on anything!

It's got his whole story.

How he got injected in Desert Storm

and got his powers.

Oh, man.

Look at this!

The way he just cleans house.

God, l wish l could do

some of that stuff.

This issue is mint.

Do not spooge on this one.

-Don't worry.

-Forget it.

I'm giving this pig a double-bagger

and a comic condom.

Morning.

-What's up, Papa Nick?

-Hey. How's tricks?

-Okay, l guess.

-"Okay"? "Okay"?

You're 23, your prostate's the size

of a pea, and you got two good legs.

You ungrateful punk. The world

should be great. It's beautiful.

-Want a bite of my sandwich?

-I'm okay.

-Bologna with Kalamata olive spread.

-No, thanks.

All right, then.

Let's make our rounds, kid.

-So you ask her out this morning?

-Who?

Who? Who? The goddess

of the hallway, Stephanie who.

-No, l didn't.

-No?

No. You know, Nick, you can't....

There's some girls

that you can't approach like that.

You got a point.

Too bad it's on your head.

She's not mean. She's nice.

But she's out of my league.

She wouldn't think twice about me.

You're a good security cop

at an important lab.

You're good at your job.

If she doesn't like that,

that's her problem. You're a good kid.

I'm damned proud of you.

-So any action today?

-Oh, yeah.

A tech is selling plutonium to Arabs

in lab 5. I got illicit meth in 7.

And in 9, Dr. Carson's taking

the longest dump in history.

Poor little bastards. Every day

getting sliced and diced. For what?

Hey, hey, hey. There's Hairy Larry.

Hairy Larry. Nick, you kill me.

That baby's new.

They must have installed that

last night.

I wonder what it's for.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

That has got to hurt.

-What did they do that for?

-I don't know.

-Larry must have something special.

-Yeah, makes him invincible.

That's why they pump the others

with his mojo juice.

Quentin. Hey, Quentin!

-What time is it?

-Almost 6.

We kept the place safe

one more day.

What is with you and these comics?

My kid used to read that crap,

but he was 1 0.

I don't know.

I guess they're like dreams.

Colour dreams.

There's one guy in the whole world

that has something different.

And there comes this moment when

someone needs exactly what he has...

...and he saves them.

He stops the killer and he's a hero.

When you read it,

you can imagine you're the guy.

I mean, if you had something special.

-Don't you have dreams?

-Yeah.

Not about guys dressed up like bugs.

They're about Stella Stevens.

-Who?

-Before your time.

They're at it late in Lab 1 0.

Are you ready for one last round?

You mind finishing up?

l'll meet you here.

No problem, Nick.

Attention all personnel.

We are closing in five minutes.

No.

No!

Nick! Turn around! Turn around!

-Let the real cops handle this.

-My partner's in there.

-Take no prisoners. Go!

-Wait!

No! Nick! No, no, no. Nick.

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