Dear White People Page #5

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TROY:

My major’s in Jive. Minoring in

Shuck. You’re still majoring in

trying to f*** my left overs right?

Troy walks off as Reggie and Kurt watch him join Sofia.

SOFIA:

You need a shower.

15 INT. TROY’S BATHROOM - DAY 15

Water runs while Troy takes a hit of weed from a pipe over

the toilet. He blows the smoke out an open window through a

paper towel tube with a dryer sheet attached to its end. He

jots something down on a notepad as he whispers...

TROY:

You went from ODB to Trey Songz...

16 INT. ARMSTRONG/PARKER DINING HALL - NIGHT 16

The hall is packed with STUDENTS - stylish and mostly Black.

Helmut West watches from the back.

TROY:

Artie, you know your success ratio

with the ladies went up like thirty

percent after I started edging you

up dog, come on. You went from ODB

to Trey Songz!

12.

The audience is in STITCHES at this last line. Everyone

except Sam, Reggie and their crew of afro’d bohemian

disciples (who we’ll call the BOFROS). Sam records the

proceedings with a vintage Super 8 camera.

REGGIE:

That’s his platform? Haircuts?

SAM:

Oofta is as Oofta does.

Coco, sneaks through the door. She’s got the eyes of Helmut

on her. What is he doing here? As Coco breaks eye contact she

sits in the only open spot next to...

SAM (CONT’D)

Just because we’re colored don’t

mean we run on colored people time.

COCO:

Boycotting hot combs don’t make you

an expert on “colored people” boo.

Coco wafts her silky hair over her shoulders and sits.

TROY:

No but seriously, I care about you

guys. I care about this house. We

had a great year last year and if

it ain’t broke...

Troy basks in his applause. Coco eats him up with her eyes.

Sam doesn’t want to get up - her breathing gets heavier.

REGGIE:

Just pretend like you’re in the

booth. Just you and the mic.

SAM:

Hate this sh*t.

As Sam gets up and passes Troy -

TROY:

You really think you can take this

from me?

SAM:

Troy we live in a world where

there’s a Big Momma’s House 3. I

don’t have a chance in hell. Thank

God.

13.

Sam grabs the mic. Her voice shakes before the silent crowd.

SAM (CONT’D)

Troy my brother, it’s broke.

The BoFros cheer and make noise on each line.

SAM (CONT’D)

Troy’s a legacy kid. And yet it’s

under his watch that Armstrong /

Parker, the bastion of Black

culture here was gutted. By the

Randomization of Housing Act.

Second years of color no longer

have a say in where they go. The

culture that’s been fostered in

this house for two decades will be

wiped out in two years.

Troy looks to see if the speech is working. As Sam warms up -

SAM (CONT’D)

This wasn’t motivated by a desire

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