Crush the Skull

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(music)

(glass shatters)

(ominous music)

(ominous music)

(ominous music)

(banging on door)

(door creaking)

- [Woman] Baby!

- [Girl] Mommy!

- [Woman] Are you okay?

- [Girl] Yes, but I'm scared.

- I'm gonna get us out of here.

I think I found a way back up.

- Up?

Where are we, Mommy?

- You know that show you like,

where um, people have to compete

missions to win prizes.

It's just like that.

We're, we're in a show,

and we just need

to win this round.

- Mom!

- Okay, everything's fine.

- Mom!

I know it's not a game.

(sobbing)

- Oh my God.

I'm so sorry.

(sobbing)

My sweet baby.

I wish you thought this

was all a big game.

(ominous music)

Oh no.

- Mommy, is, is, is the

game starting again?

- Listen to me.

This is not a game.

This is real.

We have to get out of here.

- I know, I thought you

wanted me to pretend.

- Stay right here, okay?

- No!

Don't leave me!

- I'll be right back.

I have to, I have

to distract him.

(screaming)

Please be brave, baby.

Okay?

Just pretend this

is all a big game.

- But I thought you said not to!

Mommy!

(ominous music)

(screaming)

(groaning)

(screaming)

(lively music)

- Hey.

I got one for you.

So, there's a man, right,

and he gets a call

from the hospital,

and uh, no wait, hold on.

Let me start over.

So there's this man, and

he's at the hospital,

and he has a meeting

with this doctor,

and he says um...

Hey, are you listening?

Hey look.

I was just saying that

I don't know if we

have to retire so soon.

- That's been the

plan this whole time.

One last job,

travel for a year,

settle down and...

Find normal lives.

- We're so good at this.

Do we have to

stick to that plan?

- Always stick to the plan.

- Are you sure this time though?

Like really sure.

- I'm always sure.

I could not be more

sure about this.

I'm a hundred million

billion percent sure.

- Yeah, that sounds

like you're pretty sure.

- We're 30 years old,

sitting in a fake painter's van,

about to rob a house.

- So cool.

- It's not cool.

It used to be cool.

- Okay.

This is our last job.

As planned.

- Are you sure?

- I am...

100,000 billion percent sure.

- Shut up.

- Yeah, sure.

- Thank you.

(engine starting in distance)

- [Man] There she is.

- Faster than schedule.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

Finish it.

- Finish what?

- The joke.

- Yes.

The joke.

So, um...

So there's this man.

He rushes to the hospital,

gets there, the

doctor comes out,

and he says, I'm so sorry.

- Wait, why is he

rushing to the hospital?

- Oh, his wife was

in an accident.

Wait.

I thought I just said that.

So where was I?

Um...

Oh right, she was

in an accident,

and the doctor says, uh...

- What kind of accident?

- Again, so, worst

shape possible.

She basically lost

all of her limbs,

so, the doctor says, you know,

and she may not be able to

recognize you ever, ever again,

and the husband

says, oh my gosh,

this is terrible news.

And the doctor says,

by the way, she's dead.

She's, she's dead.

- So a man hears that his

wife's in a horrible accident,

he rushes to the hospital.

When he gets there, the

doctor says, I'm so sorry,

but the accident

has left your wife

blind, deaf, and mute,

and she'll never be able

to recognize you again.

The guy's like, oh my God

this is terrible news,

and that's when the doctor says,

I'm just kidding.

She's dead.

- It's funnier.

- [Woman] 30 seconds.

- Man, it's really our last one.

(laughing)

(dramatic music)

Ssh.

Wrap up, wrap up, wrap up.

- Sh*t.

- [Man] We gotta go,

we can't go this way.

- [Woman] Okay.

- [Man] You ready?

- [Woman] Yeah.

- Ready.

- Okay.

Where're you going?

- I thought you were with me.

- Get over here.

- [Man] Sh*t.

- [Woman] Sh*t.

(ominous music)

- Take your clothes off.

- Ah-ha, do it in

your place for once.

- Who's he home with?

- I don't know.

She's supposed to be a Pilates.

- [Man] Hey, can we bring

your dog up on this one?

- [Woman] Wait, what?

No.

- I'm an adult.

(door opens)

- Wait.

- What was that?

- [Woman] Oh, God.

My husband.

Sh*t.

Hide.

- [Man] I can go

out this window.

- No, hide.

Get in the closet.

Go.

(ominous music)

(screams)

(ominous music)

Hi.

- Hi, honey.

- Honey?

Honey, honey.

Wait!

No!

Wait I can...

- Oh sh*t.

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, uh...

- Get the f*** out!

- Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Honey, they're robbers.

Shoot them.

Shoot them, they're robbing us.

They're robbers.

- No, we're not robbers, okay?

We're not robbers.

We're...

We're swingers.

- We're not into foursomes.

(laughs)

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

She laughs when she's scared.

- Get the f*** out.

- Listen, we're not,

we're robbers.

We are robbers, okay,

and she's not f***ing us.

- [Woman] No.

- All right, she's

f***ing this guy!

- [Woman] Oh God, oh sh*t, okay.

- Hello, my name is Juan.

I was...

Cleaning the pool.

- Honey, I can explain, okay?

This is, this is Juan.

He's...

- [Female Robber] No!

- [Woman] Honey!

(dramatic music)

(screaming)

- [Female Robber]

Where you going?

- I have to help them.

- No, no no.

The cops are gonna

be here any second,

and you're two strikes.

- Okay, you're

right, you're right.

They're gonna be here, I'm

gonna buy them some time.

- Well, what about us?

- Take the van, go

down the street,

wait for me there.

- No, that's not the plan.

- F*** the plan, Blair, okay.

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