Carry on Dick Page #2
- Year:
- 1974
- 91 min
- 442 Views
- On the road to York.
- Just outside Dencher, Captain.
Would that be Upper or Lower Dencher?
- About halfway between the two.
- In that case, we've nothing to worry about.
You may have nothing to worry about, Captain,
but you have not been travelling all night
with your bare buttocks on cold leather.
No, sir, I've had one of my best men patrolling
that stretch of road, Sergeant Strapp.
If Turpin was around, he'll have had him,
you can be sure.
I hope for your sake that you're right,
Captain Fancey.
You can depend on it, sir.
Nothing gets past old Jock Strapp.
(Horse neighs)
Ah, here he is now.
Well, Strapp, what happened?
Well, sir, I thought I'd better report to you
personally, sir.
- Good.
- See, we ran into Turpin's gang last night.
- And you apprehended him?
- Well, yes, sir...
What did I tell you? Good old Jock!
There's one slight problem, sir. He got away.
I knew he wouldn't let me dow...
- He got away? How?
- It's a long story, sir.
I don't want to hear any long stories,
you incompetent dunderhead!
I'm sorry. There's been a slight mishap, my lord.
I know. I heard.
Don't worry, I intend to take personal charge
from now on.
I promise you I'll have Dick Turpin
hanging from a gibbet within a month,
or my name is not Desmond Fancey.
There's only one comment
I have to make on that, Captain.
- (Horse farts)
- And that's it.
Pardon.
Quite right, Captain. There's something wrong
with the hang of the breeches at the front.
- I'm far too busy to worry about that now.
- Go on, Strapp.
- As I was saying, sir,
all these hold-ups seem to have happened
within a 20-mile radius of this area here.
Yes, yes. Well?
We can deduce from that that Turpin's
headquarters are somewhere around there.
What?! Oh, any imbecile could see that, man!
Well I just wanted to make sure that you did.
Of course I did. Are you implying that
any imbecile has got more sense than I have?
No, sir.
I should hope not. Any fool can make fatuous
generalisations like that.
What I want to know is,
where is his headquarters? Where?
I was just coming to that.
There's a notorious inn
just as you go into Lower Dencher here.
It's the Old Cock, on the right.
That's where we've been going wrong!
- What?
- I've made provision on the left.
Will you shut up about the wretched breeches!
Go on, Strapp. Go on.
Well, sir, the Old Cock's been well known as
a meeting place for criminals for many years.
And I think that is where
we should start looking for Turpin.
- Whoa!
DICK:
Stand and deliver!Deliver, I say! Deliver!
(Baby cries)
Oh, well. You can't win 'em all.
(Cackles)
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"Carry on Dick" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/carry_on_dick_5117>.
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