Blonde Ambition

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All aboard for New York City.

Do you really have to go?

If I want to make it as a model,

I can't stay here in Minden.

Hey. Hey.

Now, you know I'm gonna come back

in six months and make you my wife.

Bus is leaving now. Last call.

Hey.

I love you.

- I love you more.

- I love you more.

I love you most.

Katie!

Katie! Hey, I gotta ask you something.

Will you be my Valentine?

You know I'm an engaged woman.

Come on. Billy?

Billy's been gone for three months.

What about Mary Ann over there?

I heard she's got a crush on you.

I think she's gonna be

a real looker one of these days.

- All right, Mr. Eddie Carruthers...

- Yes. Yes, sir.

...this is our little

friends-and-family plan here.

- Just kind of sign your name right there.

- I'll be more than happy to.

Hey, Pap Paw.

Why don't we tell Mr. Carruthers

about our anytime anywhere plan?

- That's a wonderful idea.

- Yeah, sounds good to me.

- Wonderful.

- No surprise charges.

Let me see here.

Could you give me a hand or a boot?

Thank you. Really, thank you.

- All right. Isn't she something?

- I guarantee you.

I'm telling you, if it wasn't for her,

this place would be like

some kind of pig sty or something.

Be my Valentine! Be my Valentine!

I love you.

You know, this is the first Valentine's Day

we've spent apart in 15 years.

And he's always so romantic.

Speaking of Valentine's Day, darling,

I got you a little surprise.

Pap Paw.

You could take off this weekend,

fly the coop, go to New York,

see old Billy

and surprise him on Valentine's Day.

Also, I got you this telephone.

Cousin Haley's number right on the back.

You carved it really nice, Pap Paw.

Couldn't figure out

how to program the damn phone.

You know your Cousin Haley?

Heard she's got her a good job

up there in New York City.

Pap Paw, you are the best.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome. I almost forgot.

- In case you get nervous, sweetheart.

- Thanks, Pap Paw.

I'm gonna sleep in the city

that never sleeps.

Hope they got a bed.

Now you have some fun up there.

This is my first time in New York City.

I just got engaged

and I'm coming to surprise my fianc.

He's a model. He's really cute.

Look what I made him.

I made him this on the way over here.

Well, I've been yapping like a puppy,

so why don't you tell me

a little bit about yourself, Mr. Nebolah...

Nebalahanihani. Hanihani? Nenahania?

I knew it.

Billy? Billy?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- What? You...

- What is that?

Oh, sh*t.

- Oh, hey. Hey. Hey, babe.

- Who is that?

Who? Her?

- I don't know who that is.

- Hey!

It is me, Aphrodite. I met you last night.

Listen, I can explain, all right?

Just let me explain. Stop.

Hey, now. Easy on the boys, all right?

I'm up for a huge

Lubriderm campaign next week.

You're a hand model?

How could you do this to me?

Everything has changed for me here.

I'm Billy 2.0 now.

It's like, before, I was an eagle.

And now I've just blossomed into

a bigger eagle.

- That doesn't even make sense.

- Yeah.

Big eagle, big small eagle.

See? Aphrodite gets it.

Because Aphrodite

is an independent woman.

She's a metropolitan lady.

And that's the kind of woman

I need in my life right now.

It's not my fault you got nothing else

going on but being my girlfriend.

I'm sorry.

Well, you don't have

to worry about that anymore.

Katie. Just wait.

Katie, baby, hey. Hey.

Do you mind if I get the ring back?

Take it.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Stupid thing.

Thank you.

Hey! Hey!

Lady!

- Watch it!

- You watch it, hickey!

Zips Messenger.

Haley. Thank the Lord. It's Katie.

Katie Cat! Oh, my God.

My mom said you were gonna call.

Are you in town? We gotta hang.

Well, actually, I'm kind of in a pickle here.

- Can I stay with you?

- Hell, yeah, absolutely.

I have a rehearsal

but the super can let you in.

Oh, my gosh.

- Haley!

- Katie Cat!

Happy Valentine's Day.

Or not.

And I crawled into bed

with a stripper bimbo.

Bimbo. What is this, the Disney Channel?

Say "b*tch." Just say it.

Such an A-hole. I mean...

And to think he had the nerve

to say that I'm too dependent. Me.

Billy is a worthless teabag.

I never liked him.

I should have told you and I'm sorry.

Just... You just shouldn't even sweat him.

But I've never been without him.

Pap Paw is gonna be so crushed.

What am I gonna tell him when I go home?

Don't go home.

What do you mean?

All your life you've been Billy's girlfriend,

or Katie-Billy's-girlfriend.

Maybe it's time

that you start thinking about yourself.

You can stay here. Crash on the couch.

What have you got to lose?

- I don't know.

- Oh, come on!

It would be just like that summer

I came to stay with you guys, remember?

When my dad was in jail?

That was the greatest.

I could use a little bit of Minden

here in New York.

Okay.

This is gonna be so great.

Get up! Get up, get up, get up.

Wake up. Wake up. Up!

I'm up. I'm up.

I got an audition for Cats.

- I love Cats.

- It's a new non-musical version.

The Kafka Playhouse off-Broadway.

- I'm up for the role of Dog.

- Break a leg.

Okay. I should clarify.

I need you to fill in for me at my day job.

Here is everything you need to know.

Whatever you do,

don't leave my bike on the street. Thanks.

Bike?

She couldn't have been a waitress.

I got it. I can do it.

Excuse me. Sorry.

- Watch out!

- Come on.

- Is this Connelly and Connelly?

- Right down there.

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