Big Fat Liar Page #2
[ Scoffs ] I'm in town|shooting my new picture.
Oh, yeah, you're that guy.
Dude, no offense, but you have made|some stinkers in the last few years.
- Yeah, well, everyone|has a dry spell, Ebert.|- It's Jason.
Trust me. All it takes is one hit|to get you back on top.
Yeah, that's what I'm counting on|with this story I'm handing in.
Oh, really?. Why don'tyou|tell me more about that?.
I tried to get out of it,|but my teacher busted me.
What'd you go with,|dog ate your homework?.
- No. Dad choked on a meatball.|- And you spent all night with him in the E.R.?
Yeah.
Your teacher called the old man to confirm,|you imitated his voice on the cell phone?.
Yeah, pretty much.
All right, listen and learn, short stack.|Here's where you went wrong.
You should've forged the doctor's note,|made your dad your sister...
and changed the meatball|into a chicken wing.
It's much easier to swallow|if you G.M.D...which means "Get my drift."
Wow. You're good.
No, no, no. I'm the best.
- Here we are.|- All right, God bless you,Jared.
- It's Jason.|- And it always will be.
Keep practicing those lies,Jiminy.
'Cause you can take it from me.|The truth?. It's overrated.
Now get out!
I got a movie to produce!
Thanks for the ride, gentlemen.
Ciao.
Hey-o! You left--
- Back to the set, sir?.|- Yeah. Double-time it, driver.
Listen, Whitaker,|I'm noty our sister, I'm not your girlfriend,
and I'm not your priest.|[ Clucking]
So if you wanna remain my partner,|I've got two words for you.
Shut the heck up!|You talkway too much!
Can we cut?. Can we--|[ Coughing ]
'Cause this ain't working|for me at all.
What do you think you're doing?.|Fumigating me in here?.
Move!|Moving.
Why did you call cut?. I did not|tell you to stop acting, Urkel.
Wolf, how many times|have I told you not to call me Urkel?.
My name is Jaleel White, okay?.
Urkel was a character|I played when I was a child.
Okay,Jaleel.|Hey, what's the problem?.
Wanna know the problem?.|Yeah.
I'm getting nothing|from the chicken,|that's the problem.
He sits there with his head slumped over.|I have no idea what my motivation is.
Mmm. Okay, you're|a police officer named Fowl.
Your new partner is a crime-fighting|chicken named Whitaker.
And your motivation is a nice|fat paycheck that's keeping you out...
of working the drive-through window at McDonald's.|Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Watch yourself, Wolf.|Watch yourself.
No, you watch yourself, pal.
You're just lucky I'm not making you|wear the freaky glasses and suspenders.
I swear. I was riding down the street|on Jamie's old bike and some limo hit me.
They offered me a ride.|I spilled all my stuff. I must've forgotten the paper.
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"Big Fat Liar" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/big_fat_liar_4044>.
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