American Splendor Page #5

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

Maybe his old lady will go easy on

him today, when she sees how upset

he is.

INT. HARVEY’S LIVING ROOM - WINTER - 1975 - DAY

Harvey’s second wife LANA -- a hippyish chic with long hair

and a bad attitude -- pulls books off a shelf and selectively

throws them onto the floor or packs them into a milk crate.

An overstuffed suitcase sits beside her. She’s obviously

leaving him. HARVEY enters the room.

.

HARVEY:

(whispering)

Ay ... What is this?

Harvey’s voice breaks up.

LANA:

Exactly what it looks like.

12.

HARVEY:

(loud)

Whattya mean!! You mean yer

dumpin’ me?! Fer what?

(his voice really rips)

Ah, sh*t!

That last yell did it. Harvey grabs throat in pain, torn

between his throat discomfort and trying to stop his wife

from leaving.

LANA:

Look, your plebeian lifestyle isn’t

working for me anymore.

Cleveland’s not working for me

anymore. I gotta get out of here

before I kill myself.

HARVEY:

But-

She gathers her bags and heads for the door. Harvey trails

her, trying to reason.

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.

HARVEY (cont’d)

(mouthing, just a wheeze)

Please! Wait, honey ... Just

listen to what I got to say ...

She turns and stares at him. Harvey tries to say something.

But now nothing at all comes out of his mouth. Only wheezes

air.

He tries again. No sound at all.

Finally LANA gives up, turns back towards the door and

leaves.

SLAM!!

CUT TO:

INT. V.A. HOSPITAL - 1975 - DAY

At his cubicle in the file room, Harvey fills a cart with

files. He’s physically at work, but mentally in a daze.

13.

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

Here’s our man--yeah alright,

here’s me --or the guy playin’ me,

anyway, though he don’t look

nothin’ like me, but whatever. So

it’s a few months later an’ I’m

workin’ my flunky, file-clerk gig

at the V.A. Hospital. My voice

still ain’t back yet. Things seem

like they can’t get any worse...

A nurse pops her head in. Harvey hands her a file.

NURSE:

Thank you, Harvey dear.

He doesn’t hear her, still stewing about LANA.

last files in the cart and pushes it away.

He shoves the

HARVEY:

(to himself)

Plebeian ... where the hell did she

get that sh*t?

CUT TO:

INT. FILE ROOM -- A FEW MOMENTS LATER

We see rows and rows of endless files ...

Still in a daze, Harvey removes the files from the cart and

puts them on the shelves.

MR. BOATS (O.S.)

Avoid the reeking herd!

Shun the polluted flock!

Live like that stoic bird,

The eagle of the rock!

Harvey turns around. Mr. Boats -- a portly, African-American

maintenance worker wearing a bow-tie -- steps into Harvey’s

row. He has a tool box.

HARVEY:

Huh? Oh. Hiya, Mr. Boats.

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