Alien vs. Ninja

---

Oh, come on.

What now?

Leave it to me.

I can handle them all.

Push this down.

Bring it on. All at once.

What is it?

Didn't you feel something?

No one should be following us.

Chickened out, huh?

Woman's intuition?

Can't count on it.

We thought you were as good as a man,

but now you want us men to protect you?

Cut it out.

We're almost there.

Can you make it?

Ouch!

What the hell are you doing?

- Jeez.

- Why are you hiding?

Waiting for you, of course.

Trying to attack me from

behind as I pass by?

Kill and take all the credit,

I heard this old man say.

Hey, don't say such a thing

in a nonchalant way.

Doesn't sound like a joke.

You're terrible!

You ran away leaving Yamata behind.

Who's terrible?

What? I gave Yamata a new

weapon I made, right?

You call this piece of sh*t a weapon?

You don't know

how long it took to make this.

How did you survive all these years,

making such stupid things?

I got more weapons, thank you.

I can handle them

without your stupid gadgets.

Don't flatter yourself.

Someone's gonna make you eat dirt.

Yeah?

I'm sure you're not the one.

I hope you guys fall

out and kill each other.

Then I take all the credit.

Hey, go easy on me!

I'm not so young any more.

Hey, did you see?

The fire in the sky?

The work of Lord Oda or Koga ninja?

No, it didn't seem like it.

So what then?

Lightning? A dragon?

Tornado, maybe?

It went toward our village.

We'd better hurry.

Yeah.

Hey, hey! Wait up!

Wait!

Yamata, Jinnai, we're home.

Grit

Sincerity

Look who's here!

I knew it!

Welcome back.

Master is waiting for you.

Us?

What have you done now?

What's with you?

I'm talking to Yamata!

Get lost, you creep!

What do you mean by "done?"

You always pick unnecessary fights

and mess up your missions.

Come again?

Like last night, for example.

All you had to do was recon.

And what else did you do?

That's why he wants to see you.

Learn the first duty of ninja.

And what is that, huh?

To flee? Or sneak about?

Did you hear that?

He doesn't know.

How come?

Oh, I get it. He's not a born ninja.

He was an outsider.

Sorry, I should've known better.

Which means, you can't get the job

done properly! Come on boys.

No way!

No need to say that.

He doesn't kill for no reason.

We kill.

We risk our lives for the job.

Unlike you guys, who do

daily chores in the village.

Oh, give me a break.

But you know, you're kind of cute.

Oh well. Go to Master.

Get going now.

And out of my sight!

Let's go, boys! He's cute, eh?

Don't let it get to you.

He's just jealous of you.

Being the best ninja

can be a pain in the ass.

How did it go?

No soldiers at the castle.

They might have

already joined the Oda army.

So there were ninja guarding the castle?

Correct, sir. But they were no good at all.

Yamata here took all of them down.

You just watched, Nezumi?

No, no, no, I just fled,

leaving Yamata behind.

That's the smartest way to stay alive, huh?

Yes, sir...

I just gave the young ones all the credit.

Then, I should assign you

a mission you can handle.

A mysterious ball of fire

fell near the village.

We saw that on our way back.

All the other ninja are out now.

I know you three just came back

and you must be tired, but...

Go and search the area with the

group who came back last night.

You think it was a tool of Oda's army?

I'm not sure.

When you find out...

Get back to me immediately.

Now go.

Yes sir.

So the others are gathering

information on warlords, huh?

The fate of us Iga ninja depends on

the warlord we side with.

Guys! Wait! Wait up!

We just need to side with

the one who ensures our survival, eh?

Oda or Tokugawa, doesn't matter.

Got big ears, huh?

Of course! I'm a ninja, too!

I can hear you guys from a distance.

Doesn't matter?

Sure, you're good at kissing ass.

We ninja work in the shadows.

That's who we are.

You always step out of the shadows.

You'll get yourself killed.

I hate staying in the shadows.

I'd prefer to take down big shots

rather than their men.

I've got the right thing for you.

The custom-made auto-ninja exterminator!

Oh, that piece of sh*t.

No way, this has been modified.

It will work just fine.

It's fine. I guess.

Oh, and then... Presto!

Cool stuff, huh?

A dagger?

Take a close look.

You gotta give up old weapons and

get cool stuff from foreigners.

Well, this is mine though.

Let me try.

Hey!

Hey, give it back!

Come on.

Okay, you win.

How about this?

Pretty powerful.

No thanks. I've always wanted to fire a gun.

Give it back to me!

I'm serious!

Watch it! Yamata, no!

Give it back! Give me!

Told you! Stop playing around!

I ain't got much ammo.

Hey, no, it wasn't me.

I didn't do this. No.

No, I didn't do...

Sorry!

I was having a good time!

It hurts.

It's your fault.

Sh*t, blood.

Still alive, huh?

You too.

Did you see the fire?

Yeah, on our way back.

Where did it go?

Over there.

About 20 km from here.

Wait a minute. You guys go first.

Don't be a nuisance.

Why? We returned after they did.

It's only natural.

Sure, I'll guide you.

Follow me, old man.

A young girl will guide us!

Living long isn't so bad.

Told you.

How was the mission?

Boring.

Did what you do best?

How was yours?

I could use a challenge.

Want it right here, right now?

Actually, I want it in bed.

What is it?

Bear or something.

No bears around here.

What then?

Our enemies wouldn't leave a mark like this.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes