Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels script
Synopsis: Eddy (Nick Moran) convinces three friends to pool funds for a high-stakes poker game against local crime boss Hatchet Harry (P.H. Moriarty). Harry cheats and Eddy loses, giving him a week to pay back 500,000 pounds or hand over his father's pub. Desperate, Eddy and his friends wait for their neighbors to rob some drug dealers, then rob the robbers in turn. After both thefts, the number of interested criminal parties increases, with the four friends in dangerously over their heads.

TOM:

What are you talking about? I am bloody skinny, pal.

NICK:

Of course you are. All right, Ed.

EDDY:

Nick the Greek, always a pleasure. All right Tom, what you been eating?

Tom examines his midriff and adopts a confused expression.

TOM:

Please, both join me in my orifice.

INT. GROCER'S SHOP STORE ROOM - DAY

They work their way past a maze of boxes.

NICK:

(fingering and admiring one of the boxes)

How much did you say it was, Tom?

TOM:

You know how much it is, Nick.

NICK:

And that does include the amp?

TOM:

You know it doesn't include the amp.

INT. RESTAURANT KITCHEN -AFTERNOON

Tom and Ed make their way through a busy, well-equipped kitchen. This

is obviously a smart and serious establishment. They stop in front of

the man whose uniform is covered in blood; he appears to be the head

chef. Meet Soap.

TOM:

What have you come as?

SOAP:

Cupid stupid! That's the last time I am getting any more fruit off you

Tom. Call that fresh? There was more small hairy armoured things in

your fruit than there was fruit. You should open a butcher's, not a

grocer's.

TOM:

If you will order stuff that comes from Kat-Man-Fucking-Du don't be

surprised if your fruit picks up a few tourists en route. ~ Never mind

that, what about the money?

SOAP:

Get your fingers out of my soup!

SLOW MOTION:

Soap pulls out a bag from under where he is sitting.

TOM:

(voice-over)

Soap is called Soap because he likes to keep his hands clean of any

unlawful behaviour. He is proud of his job, and even more proud that

it's legal.

BACON:

(voice-over)

He's a stroppy sod but he's got more balls than a golfer, only he

doesn't know it. ' * Cut from completed film.

16

RELEASE SLOW MOTION]

Ed looks in bag.

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Guy Ritchie

Guy Stuart Ritchie is an English filmmaker known for his crime films. He left secondary school and got entry-level jobs in the film industry in the mid-1990s. He eventually graduated to directing commercials. more…

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"Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 20 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/lock,_stock_and_two_smoking_barrels_194>.

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