Death to Smoochy script
Synopsis: Tells the story of Rainbow Randolph (Robin Williams), the corrupt, costumed star of a popular children's TV show, who is fired over a bribery scandal and replaced by squeaky-clean Smoochy (Edward Norton), a puffy fuscia rhinoceros. As Smoochy catapults to fame - scoring hit ratings and the affections of a network executive (Catherine Keener) - Randolph makes the unsuspecting rhino the target of his numerous outrageous attempts to exact revenge and reclaim his status as America's sweetheart.

(CONTINUED)

5.

CONTINUED:

EXECUTIVE #4

Yeah, if we back up the Brinkstruck.

EXECUTIVE #1

No way. The idea now is to stopthe hemorrhaging.

EXECUTIVE #2

You better fix this, Stokes. Get

us a white bread replacement,

fast. Bland, milk toast. Not a

speck of controversy.

A giant hand slams on the table. All heads snap.

The CEO drags his fingers along the shiny mahogany.

Deafening sound.

CEO:

(calm and measured)

Squeaky fucking clean.

INT. STOKES' OFFICE - DAY

Stokes sits behind his mahogany desk, sipping a glass ofwine as he goes over potential Randolph replacements withNORA BISHOP, his pretty protege.

STOKES:

Bumble Bee Billy?

NORA:

(reading from a list)

Wife beater.

STOKES:

Square Dance Danny?

NORA:

Still appealing the mail fraudthing.

STOKES:

Skippy Black and the Tippy Trolls?

NORA:

Black was deported, and thetrolls... well, who gives a shit.

Nora kicks the table in frustration.

(CONTINUED)

6.

CONTINUED:

NORA:

This is impossible. If I ever see

that Rainbow Randolph again I'llstrangle him. Choke the life out

of him. Squeeze his scrawny neckuntil his eyes pop out of hisskull and bounce off the walls...

STOKES:

Before indulging such cheeryfantasies, let's just concentrateon saving my job. Shall we?

NORA:

Sorry, Frank.

Stokes flips through a thick stack of files. He suddenly

stops at one.

STOKES:

What's going on with Sheldon Mopesthese days.

Nora laughs.

NORA:

Oh my God. Have we sunk to that

level already? Smoochy the Rhino?

What a sap.

STOKES:

Sap's just the pill we need right

now. Mopes is a straight arrow.

Always has been.

NORA:

The guy can't get arrested, Frank.

He can't even break into the

birthday party circuit. Last I

heard he was working hospitals andnursing homes. He's a joke.

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Adam Resnick

Adam Resnick is an American comedy writer from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. He is best known for his work writing for Late Night with David Letterman. Additionally, Resnick co-created and wrote for Get A Life with Chris Elliott. more…

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"Death to Smoochy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 19 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/death_to_smoochy_339>.

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