Death to Smoochy script
Synopsis: Tells the story of Rainbow Randolph (Robin Williams), the corrupt, costumed star of a popular children's TV show, who is fired over a bribery scandal and replaced by squeaky-clean Smoochy (Edward Norton), a puffy fuscia rhinoceros. As Smoochy catapults to fame - scoring hit ratings and the affections of a network executive (Catherine Keener) - Randolph makes the unsuspecting rhino the target of his numerous outrageous attempts to exact revenge and reclaim his status as America's sweetheart.

Bundles of the morning editions are tossed onto the curb

from passing trucks. The various headlines blare:

"RAINBOW RANDOLPH BUSTED ACCEPTING BRIBE"

"FCC PROBES KID SHOW BIZ"

"CORRUPTION IN KRINKLELAND"

INT. TELEVISION STUDIO - DAY

The Rainbow Randolph/Krinkle Kid set is being dismantled.

Backdrops are rolled up and the giant rainbow centerpieceis wheeled off. Workers with push brooms sweep up tonsof glittery "magic Rainbow dust."

INT. NETWORK BOARDROOM - KIDNET - DAY

We are TIGHT ON the sweating face of a MAN who looks likehe's about to be executed.

CUT BACK TO:

4.

STOKES:

is standing at the end of a long conference table as theNETWORK BRASS glares at him.

STOKES:

(addressing the brass)

Gentlemen, let me be the first to

say, in all sobriety, that I'm asshocked and outraged as all of -

The network CEO, a hog of a man, cuts him off.

CEO:

Save it for the papers, Stokes.

We've got nervous sponsors and anangry public -- a combinationuglier than two monkeys fucking.

What are you doing about it?

STOKES:

Well, sir, I'm currently in theprocess of compiling a list ofviable replacements and it's myhope...

CEO:

Clean replacements? With

background checks? I assure you,

Mr. Stokes, this network cannot

survive another Rainbow Randolph.

The goddamn P.R. department lookslike the Jim Jones camp.

Another EXECUTIVE chimes in.

EXECUTIVE #1

Remember, Stokes, this was yourdog that crapped on our rug.

EXECUTIVE #2

We trusted you, Frank. And now

we're in a tight spot. We have to

post our quarterly earnings nextmonth, for Christ's sake.

CEO:

Whoever takes that slot has to be

a straight arrow. Clean as a

whistle.

EXECUTIVE #3

Right. Someone who'll take the

heat off. One of those sweater

types. Any chance of luring FredRogers away from P.B.S.?

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Adam Resnick

Adam Resnick is an American comedy writer from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. He is best known for his work writing for Late Night with David Letterman. Additionally, Resnick co-created and wrote for Get A Life with Chris Elliott. more…

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"Death to Smoochy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 22 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/death_to_smoochy_339>.

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