Boys on the Side Page #3

JANE:

I don't get out much.

ROBIN:

It was twenty years ago. Oh great, you've got it. Do

you...do you mind?

JANE:

No, please. Please. (Talking on the telephone): No,

I'm here. No, I figured we'd come by tomorrow around

noon. Are you okay? I mean, is it Nick? No, fine,

fine. All right. Yeah, no...I'll see you then.

Good-bye.

ROBIN:

Is that your friend in Pittsburgh?

JANE:

Yeah. If she is still my friend.

ROBIN:

That's nice. I don't really have any girlfriends. My

mom always felt, you know, you can't trust women.

JANE:

I don't know about that.

ROBIN:

Oh, come on. Men know all about PMS. Somebody

talked.

SCENE 18

ROBIN:

Oh! That gets me the way she like brushes his hair

off his forehead. That really gets me.

JANE:

So, which one of them were you? The one who loved too

much or the one who loved too little?

ROBIN:

Neither. I'm the one who spent three years at Happy

Hour and never went home with anybody except the

bartender.

JANE:

Well, the bartender is somebody.

ROBIN:

Yeah. He was somebody, all right. I don't know...I

don't know about men. I just don't get it.

JANE:

Maybe you're not into them.

ROBIN:

You mean...eew...no.

JANE:

Maybe you don't know.

ROBIN:

I think I scare them away because I know what I want.

JANE:

Oh well, tell me. What do you want?

ROBIN:

It's not very liberated, I know...I want a husband

with a decent job, you know. And, I want two kids, a

boy and a girl, in that order, and a soap box colonial

with three bedrooms, a sun porch, a stairway with a

white banister, and a convertible den.

JANE:

You could've been Donna Reed in another life.

ROBIN:

Anyway, I didn't get it.

JANE:

That's all right, there's always time.

ROBIN:

Yeah.

JANE:

Is that why you left New York? Because that bartender

did you wrong.

ROBIN:

Something like that...8:00 tomorrow, okay? If you

want to get to Pittsburgh by twelve. Goodnight.

JANE:

Goodnight. Thanks for the movie.

SCENE 19

ROBIN:

Well, I looked around, got into real estate. That's

where the performing really paid off. Sizing up

situations, handling people, getting what you want

from them without them really knowing, you know.

Control.

JANE:

Don't worry, you don't have to come in. Oh, I hate

this belt.

ROBIN:

It's for your own protection if something were to...

JANE:

I know.

SCENE 20

JANE:

(Knocking on the door): Hey Holly! Hey Holly! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

HOLLY:

Jane!

JANE:

Hey.

HOLLY:

Hi.

JANE:

Hi!

HOLLY:

You look good.

JANE:

Thanks! Thanks. You, too....What's the matter?

NICK:

Holly!

HOLLY:

Look, something's come up, Nick's in a mood. Could we

do this another time?

JANE:

Hey, we're on the road here! Look, I'll handle it.

I'll fix it. Let me talk to him!

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