Porky's Page #2

Timmy...

- Funny.

- Not as funny as the look on your face.

- You gotta let me do it to somebody.

- I don't think there's anybody left.

- Oh, come on. There's gotta be somebody.

- I think we've done just about everybody.

Let me do Meat.

You gotta let me do Meat. Come on, Timmy.

OK. Now listen. The one in your left hand is

the raw egg, OK? That's the one you drop.

The one in your right hand is the

hard-boiled egg, the one you hit him with.

- Left hand raw, right hand smack him.

- Go get him, Tiger.

- Hi, Meat.

- Hi, Pee Wee. What's goin' on?

- Oh, nothin'.

- Guys.

Watch it. What are you, a psycho?

What's with the eggs?

- What eggs?

- Those eggs.

- Watch my lips. Those eggs.

- These eggs?

- Is there an echo here?

- They're for you.

- For me? What am I gonna do with 'em?

- Well, we thought you'd like to wear one.

- Morris, you're dead.

- I know.

Good morning, Miss Balbricker.

You look nice this morning.

Are you losing weight?

- Hot damn! You like to live dangerously.

- She wants a piece of your ass.

- Nice pass, captain.

- Too bad, Jew-boy.

Tim. What's your problem, man?

Oh, boy, would I like to get next to that.

- Yes. Lassie.

- Lassie?

- Patience, my boy, patience.

- Why d'you call her Lassie?

- Why do you think?

- I don't know.

Are you kiddin'? You callin' her a dog?

Fred, that's angel food cake.

You touch her, and the Food and Drug

Administration gets you for f***in' food.

- Well, what can I tell you?

- You can tell me why they call her Lassie.

Just get her up in the equipment room -

you'll find out.

- What are you talkin' about?

- But beware of King Kong.

Wait a minute. Come here, Fred.

- Hi, Miss Walker.

- Hi, Pee Wee.

- Tommy, Miss Walker's hot.

- Pee Wee, she just said hi to you.

Yeah, but did you see

the way she said hi to me?

Right, Pee Wee.

Boy, Miss Balbricker,

you put a lotta weight behind that one.

Coach Goodenough, would you kindly

keep your balls off my tumbling mat?

- Beg your pardon?

- The basketballs. Keep them in your court.

- I have little enough room as it is.

- I'll take care of that, Miss Balbricker.

Thank you.

- The girls' tumbling team just went in.

- Heck, those broads never take a shower.

- What about the majorettes?

- They're still out there.

- Yeah, well, keep lookin'.

- Ginny just went in.

Hey! You're not allowed

to think about her with her clothes off.

You aren't even allowed

to look at her with her clothes on.

Little dip.

Hey, Tim. I was thinkin',

maybe we oughta invite Brian tonight.

Why do we gotta invite a Jew?

All we need now is a Communist

and a spic and we'd have the whole bit.

You're really the tolerant type, Cavanaugh!

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