Beethoven's 3rd
- G
- Year:
- 2000
- 99 min
- 444 Views
What are you doing? Dad said
I was family videographer.
I'm documenting ourjourney.
We're not going on a journey, Sara.
We're going on a very long drive.
Nuh-uh. Dad said
we're taking a journey.
for my laptop?
We're on a budget, and the economy
model RV might not even have a toilet,
but I'm sure it has
a cigarette lighter.
Power port, Mom. We don't say
cigarette lighter anymore.
We also don't walk around
with a milk moustache...
no matter how much
it accentuates our booger-nose.
Sorry. I'm too excited
about our trip.
Mom, Dad has been quoted as saying this
is gonna be the funnest vacation ever.
Can we get your reaction?
family reunion, cooking, cleaning,
organizing and budgeting
is not fun and not a vacation.
Yet, it's what I do
with my free time.
Oh, no!
Ew!
No, please.
Thank you.
No!
Not my gnomes!
He got the biggest one
they had.
Now, this... is camping!
Dad, it is so cool!
You like it?
Go check it out.
You think that's cool? Wait till your
friends drive by pointing and laughing at you.
Then we'll see how cool
you think it is. Brennan.
Maybe one of them had just told
a joke. Did you consider that?
Yeah. The joke was,
"Look, everybody,
Brennan Newton's going on a
vacation with his family in a bus. "
God, how lame is that?
Hey, Brenn, your friends are all
probably gonna stay in hotels this summer.
We're gonna sleep beside pristine
lakes in the great outdoors.
And the beauty of it is,
this rig has everything!
So you'll never even know you
left home. That's just it, Dad.
It's home,
but smaller for two weeks.
I don't even wanna go
on this stupid trip anyway.
- I didn't budget for this, Richard.
- I know, I know.
Just look.
Come on. Just look.
I need a new tape.
Okay. Just look.
We can't afford this, Richard.
No way!
Is that a DVD player?
Yep, and a fridge/freezer,
tub/ shower,
blender/food processor,
power ports for Sara's computer,
and check this out.
Instant hydraulic
emergency brake.
You touch that baby, and this coach comes
to a total standstill in half a second.
And what, we go sailing
through the front window?
seat belts, honey.
It doesn't get any safer.
Oh.
You don't have to worry about
scrubbing it top to bottom.
It's brand new.
We're the first renters.
Very, very funny.
How much?
Oh, uh, I don't know. I'd have
to look at the rental agreement,
but just think how much
we'll be saving...
in restaurants, hotels,
room service, room service tips.
Exactly how much is this dream
Oh, Richard, that's twice
what we planned to spend.
A little more, actually,
with insurance.
Oh, right.
Beth, I'm sorry.
I couldn't help myself.
I wanna relive one of the great
experiences of my childhood with my family.
Uh, well, speaking of family, your
brother George called from Europe.
Huh! Let me guess. He said they're
not gonna make it to the reunion.
No, they're gonna make it, but they wanted
us to bring something there for them.
It's gonna be delivered
this morning. What?
I couldn't hear what it was. It was a
cell phone. You know, bad connection.
Huh. Hey, you see there? The extra storage
capacity is already saving us headaches.
You're pushing it, Richard.
Hi. Yeah, uh,
we would like to purchase...
a DVD copy of The Shakiest
Gun in the West, please.
Are you familiar
with that title?
1967, written by James Fritzell
and Everett Greenbaum.
Genre:
comedy/western.Directed by Alan Rafkin.
Starring Pat Morita as Wong,
Jackie Coogan as Basch, Barbara
Rhodes as Penelope Cushings...
and, of course, Don Knotts
as Jesse W. Heywood.
That
Shakiest Gun in the West?
Yes, that's the one.
One copy, please.
We're sold out.
Excuse me.
That's nasty.
This is way out of control.
It's too complicated.
I said let's steal the operating system
and deliver it in person, but you said no.
Let's put it on a DVD
that nobody ever buys,
stick it in a video store
and deliver it that way.
And?
And...
somebody bought the DVD
that nobody was supposed to buy.
Oh, God,
we're in so much trouble.
Okay. We already spent the money
that we got from Mr. You Know Who.
Oh, my God. Do you know
what Mr. You Know Who...
is going to do to us when he fnds out
that somebody else has the you know what?
No, what?
I'm kidding.
I'm a joker. We are dead if
we don't get that DVD back!
Okay, William,
calm yourself.
Observe the master.
Hello, there, Quentin.
I'm wondering,
how long to order a copy of
The Shakiest Gun in the West?
That would be about
six to eight weeks.
Oh, that's bad.
Maybe we can order a copy from
the guy who ordered it from you.
Yes, may we have his name,
address and telephone number?
Dude, what do I got, like Federal felony
written across my forehead or something?
Could you, perhaps,
see if you have another copy?
We don't.
Could you check, please?
C- C-C...
Okay, man. Whatever.
Just cool your jets.
What? Tommy, what are you doing?
That is completely illegal.
I'm an idiot.
Yes, yes you are, but fortunately
for both of us, I am a genius.
Begin the countdown.
Ten, nine...
Richard Newton, 1715 Hauser
Street. Blast off, baby.
in two seconds.
That is a new record.
I don't believe it.
That is why you fail.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Beethoven's 3rd" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/beethoven's_3rd_3805>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In