There's Something About Mary script
Synopsis: Ted's (Ben Stiller) dream prom date with Mary (Cameron Diaz) never happens due to an embarrassing injury at her home. Years later, Ted hires Pat Healy (Matt Dillon) to track down Mary so he can reconnect with her. Pat lies to Ted about Mary and he finds out everything he can about her to trick her into dating him. Ted travels to meet Mary and has to weave through the web of lies that Pat and Mary's friend Tucker (Lee Evans) have woven to try and win her over.

The Ear-Muff Guy heads back to the car.

EAR-MUFF GUY

You seen my baseball?

CAR HOOD KID #1

Yeah, I seen it. That girl over there, she

has it.

Car Hood Kid #1 points to a BUSTY GIRL leaning against another car

talking to her large BOYFRIEND.

CAR HOOD KID #2 (cont'd)

'Cept she doesn't call it a baseball. She

has another name for it...

CUT TO:

ON BUSTY GIRL - The Ear-Muff Guy marches up to her and her

boyfriend.

EAR-MUFF GUY

You seen my pecker?

GIRL:

What?!

EAR-MUFF GUY

You seen my pecker?

The Boyfriend grabs him by the collar.

BOYFRIEND:

You son-of-a-bitch, I'll kick your ass!

The Boyfriend throws the Ear-Muff Guy to the ground and is about

to pummel him when Ted intervenes.

TED:

Take it easy, Smokey.

BOYFRIEND/SMOKEY

This fucking pervert just came on to Nance!

TED:

All right, just be cool.

(under breath)

He looks like he's not all there, you know

what I mean?

A crowd starts to gather which only incites Smokey more.

BOYFRIEND/SMOKEY

Get the fuck out of my way, man!

Smokey tosses Ted out of the way and moves toward the Ear-Muff

Guy. Just then Mary shows up and steps between them.

MARY:

What's going on here?

She bends down and helps the Ear-Muff Guy off the ground.

MARY (cont'd)

Are you all right?

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Ed Decter

Edward I. "Ed" Decter is an American film director, film producer and screenwriter. His credits include, There's Something About Mary, The Santa Clause 3, The Santa Clause 2, The New Guy, The Lizzie ... more…

All Ed Decter scripts | Ed Decter Books

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"There's Something About Mary" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 20 Nov. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/there's_something_about_mary_525>.

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