Dogma Page #2

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BARTLEBY:

Uh-huh. Twice. But it doesn't matter at this moment because they're both so

relieved to be with one another. I like that. I just wish they could all

feel that way more offen.

LOKI:

Maybe if someone gave them free bags of peanuts more often they would. Now

what was so friggin' important that I had to miss cartoons this morning? If

it was to share in your half-assed obsessions with Hallmark moments, I'm

going to slug you.

BARTLEBY:

(still looking OC)

You're never going to believe this: we're going home.

LOKI:

(off Bartleby's popcorn)

Let me have some?

BARTLEBY:

(pulls out envelope)

Look what somebody sent us in the mail.

(hands him a newspaper article and corn)

LOKI:

Did you say we're going home?

(reads)

"Cardinal Glick Cuts Ribbon on 'Catholicism - Wow!"

Campaign."

(to Bartleby)

And?

BARTLEBY:

Keep reading.

LOKI:

(reads)

"Updating the church... television spots... Papal consent...

rededication...

(to Bartleby)

Again - and?

BARTLEBY:

(snatches article) Give me this

(getting up; reading)

"The Re-dedication of Saint Michael's Church on it's hundredth anniversary

is the kickoff of a new campaign that seeks to bring the Catholic Church

back into the mainstream. With a papal sanction, the archway entrance to

the centuryold, Jersey shore house of worship will serve as a passageway of

pleanry indulgence, which - according to Catholic beliefs - offers all who

pass through it's arches a morally clean slate."

(looks at Loki)

You still don't get it, do you?

LOKI:

No, I don't get it. Are we leaving now?

They start walking.

BARTLEBY:

If you walk through the church's front door on the day of the Re-dedication

ceremony, your soul is wiped clean of any and all existing sin, moreso than

the sacrament of penance could ever offer. It's a plenary indulgence, man!

I don't know why I never thought of this before.

LOKI:

(spits out chewed popcorn into trash can)

Sounds thin. Sounds like someone made it up.

BARTLEBY:

It's rarely employed, but it's legitimate. It has a papal sanction for

God's sake.

LOKI:

So you're saying you and I can walk through this doorway and go back home?

BARTLEBY:

No - by passing through the doors, our sins are

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