Synopsis: Derek Zoolander is VH1's three time male model of the year, but when Hansel wins the award instead, Zoolander's world becomes upside down. His friends disappear, his father is disappointed in him, and he feels that he's not good as a model anymore. But when evil fashion guru Mugatu hires Zoolander, he thinks his life has turned back round again, that is until he finds out that Mugatu has actually brainwashed him to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia. Can Zoolander and his new friends find out how to prevent the incident before it's too late?
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Ben Stiller
Production: Paramount Pictures
  1 win & 11 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
90 min

Here in Malaysia, there is an almost

overwhelming sense of euphoria...

as the newly-elected prime minister

has given this nation hope...

promising to raise

the substandard minimum wage...

and end child labor

once and for all...

Already considered a living saint...

he has become this small country's

greatest hope...

for a thriving future

in the new millennium...

for a thriving future

in the new millennium...

Get closer, Jaco.

This is disgusting.

How could you let this happen?

I have negotiated

my butt off, Giorgio.

I've tried bribes, I've tried gifts.

I even sent him some pet oxen.

I mean, they love that crap

in Malaysia.

But he won't budge.

Listen, 50 percent of my inventory

is manufactured...

in sweatshops

on the Malaysian border.

Something has got to be done.

If Malaysia goes, what is next?

My entire panty line

is made in Vietnam.

We'll all go bankrupt

within a year.

The Malaysian must be

eliminated, Mugatu.

What? No, I don't

have time for this.

Perhaps you'd rather go back

to turning out novelty neckties.

But my new fall line is almost due.

And I trust you would like to live

to see your spring line as well?

The Malaysian prime minister

visits New York in 14 days.

Do it then.

Fourteen days? That's Fashion Week.

It's impossible! I have a show!

It's perfect. Invite him

to be your guest of honor.

That's not enough time.

It takes months to train an operative.

What about Fabio?

Too smart.

This is a rush job.

He's got to be extremely


- You know the profile,Jacobim.

- A beautiful, self-absorbed...

simpleton who can be manipulated

and molded like Jell-O.

Or cookie dough.

- Or Play-Doh.

- Any kind of dough.

The point is,

we need an empty vessel...

a shallow, dumb, vacuous moron.

And when he's finished,

we'll dispose of him.

But who?

I mean, where in all of God's

green goodness...

am I gonna find someone

that beef-headed?

am I gonna find someone

that beef-headed?

Derek, I just have a few more

questions, if that's okay.


So when did you know

you wanted to be a model?

It would have to be the first time

I went through the second grade.

I caught my reflection in a spoon

while I was eating my cereal...

and I remember thinking,

"Wow, you're ridiculously good-looking.

Maybe you could do that

for a career"

Do what?

- Be professionally good-looking.

- Right.

What would you say your

trademark is, if you have one?

Well, I guess the look

I'm best known for is Blue Steel.

What's that look like?

That's impressive.

And then there's Ferrari

and Le Tigre.

Le Tigre's a lot softer.

It's a bit more of a catalog look.

- I use it for footwear sometimes.

- Can I see that?

Look, without Derek Zoolander, male

modeling wouldn't be what it is.

He is a fashion icon.

So, do you spend a lot of time

working on these looks...

thinking about them?

Sure. I've been working on Magnum

for at least eight or nine years.

Magnum? That's intriguing.

Can I see that?

Are you kidding? I shouldn't

even be talking about it.

It's nowhere near ready.

It's almost like

there's a light around him...

He exudes beauty.

I think about Derek

every time I design a collection.

You may be familiar with the belief

that some aboriginal tribes hold.

It's the concept that a photo

might steal a part of your soul.

What are your thoughts on that...

as someone who gets his picture

taken for a living?

That Blue Steel look he does...

Oh, my Gosh, the style and the hair...

It's almost like the new afro for

the white man, but it's beautiful.

Well, I guess I would have to answer

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Drake Sather

Drake Sather (May 24, 1959 – March 3, 2004) was an American stand-up comedian, an Emmy nominated television writer, and a producer, actor, and director. His credits include the film Zoolander (2001), and the TV series Dennis Miller Show, Ed, Mr. Ed, The Larry Sanders Show, NewsRadio, and Saturday Night Live. more…

All Drake Sather scripts | Drake Sather Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Zoolander" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 14 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/zoolander_24044>.

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