
Zoolander
(0.00 / 0 votes)Here in Malaysia, there is an almost
overwhelming sense of euphoria...
as the newly-elected prime minister
promising to raise
the substandard minimum wage...
and end child labor
once and for all...
Already considered a living saint...
he has become this small country's
greatest hope...
for a thriving future
in the new millennium...
for a thriving future
in the new millennium...
Get closer, Jaco.
This is disgusting.
How could you let this happen?
I have negotiated
my butt off, Giorgio.
I've tried bribes, I've tried gifts.
I even sent him some pet oxen.
I mean, they love that crap
in Malaysia.
But he won't budge.
Listen, 50 percent of my inventory
is manufactured...
in sweatshops
on the Malaysian border.
Something has got to be done.
If Malaysia goes, what is next?
is made in Vietnam.
We'll all go bankrupt
within a year.
The Malaysian must be
eliminated, Mugatu.
What? No, I don't
have time for this.
Perhaps you'd rather go back
to turning out novelty neckties.
But my new fall line is almost due.
And I trust you would like to live
to see your spring line as well?
visits New York in 14 days.
Do it then.
Fourteen days? That's Fashion Week.
It's impossible! I have a show!
It's perfect. Invite him
to be your guest of honor.
That's not enough time.
It takes months to train an operative.
What about Fabio?
Too smart.
This is a rush job.
He's got to be extremely
dim-witted.
- You know the profile,Jacobim.
- A beautiful, self-absorbed...
simpleton who can be manipulated
and molded like Jell-O.
Or cookie dough.
- Or Play-Doh.
- Any kind of dough.
The point is,
we need an empty vessel...
a shallow, dumb, vacuous moron.
And when he's finished,
we'll dispose of him.
But who?
I mean, where in all of God's
green goodness...
am I gonna find someone
that beef-headed?
am I gonna find someone
that beef-headed?
Derek, I just have a few more
questions, if that's okay.
Cool.
So when did you know
you wanted to be a model?
It would have to be the first time
I went through the second grade.
I caught my reflection in a spoon
while I was eating my cereal...
and I remember thinking,
"Wow, you're ridiculously good-looking.
Maybe you could do that
for a career"
Do what?
- Be professionally good-looking.
- Right.
What would you say your
trademark is, if you have one?
Well, I guess the look
I'm best known for is Blue Steel.
What's that look like?
That's impressive.
And then there's Ferrari
and Le Tigre.
Le Tigre's a lot softer.
It's a bit more of a catalog look.
- I use it for footwear sometimes.
- Can I see that?
Look, without Derek Zoolander, male
modeling wouldn't be what it is.
He is a fashion icon.
So, do you spend a lot of time
working on these looks...
thinking about them?
Sure. I've been working on Magnum
for at least eight or nine years.
Magnum? That's intriguing.
Can I see that?
Are you kidding? I shouldn't
It's nowhere near ready.
It's almost like
He exudes beauty.
every time I design a collection.
You may be familiar with the belief
that some aboriginal tribes hold.
It's the concept that a photo
might steal a part of your soul.
What are your thoughts on that...
as someone who gets his picture
taken for a living?
That Blue Steel look he does...
Oh, my Gosh, the style and the hair...
It's almost like the new afro for
the white man, but it's beautiful.
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Zoolander" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 14 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/zoolander_24044>.