
Zero Effect
- R
- Year:
- 1998
- 116 min
- 76 Views
It's his uncompromising standard.
He doesn't speak with them
or communicate directly.
It's his policy.
I'm his sole representative,
he's my only employer...
...and I have full authorization to
speak on his behalf on all his business.
I have with me
a signed letter to that effect.
He doesn't negotiate his fee.
He works at a flat rate.
Under some unusual circumstances
he'll work pro bono. Never in between.
I suppose I don't qualify
for the latter category.
I haven't heard your proposal yet.
I have a feeling that mine
is not a charity case.
Most aren't.
Mr. Arlo, you realize
this is all very strange.
I mean, nobody in your field...
...asks the kind of money
your employer does and nobody...
...communicates via...
...a messenger.
It's all very unusual.
Let me tell you about the case of the
man with the mismatched shoelaces.
Years ago, when I first
came into his employ...
...he was contracted to find a man.
I can't give much detail...
...but believe me, if this man
had not been located...
...our country's good diplomacy
with a certain economic superpower...
...might have a different face today.
Federal, state, local authorities
all over the world...
...searched for a face whose
significance they couldn't fathom.
He'd vanished without a trace.
On the 8th morning, a non-political
...with an unrelated private agenda.
My employer had never heard of this
missing man, knew nothing about him.
After just one hour of desk work...
...just an hour after accepting
the case...
...he picked up the telephone
and placed a call.
Guess who answered the phone.
The missing man.
The man with the mismatched shoelaces.
Without ever leaving the house.
I'm telling you, he never even...
...leaves the house, okay?
I mean, he's like some kind of recluse.
A complete freak.
No social life.
In fact, no social skills.
Fucking strange. When he works...
...the smoothest operator you've seen.
Brave, slick...
...cunning...
...do anything.
Soon as he gets off work...
...it's all gone.
Afraid to go to the dry cleaners.
Literally.
Too uncomfortable in his own skin
to go out and eat.
Tactless...
...and inept.
Rude too.
Just an asshole.
You could meet him 5 times
and not realize it's the same person.
He can tell you where you were born,
how old your mother was at the time...
...and what you had for breakfast,
all within 30 seconds of meeting you.
He can get a criminal to confess without
his realizing he's being questioned.
How does he do it?
He has a deeply nuanced and functional
understanding of human behavior...
...to rival the great psychoanalytical
minds of our time.
He understands the criminal mind
as well as the innocent mind...
...the stable mind as well as the
psychotic, sociopathic mind...
...the male as well as the female.
I don't think he's ever...
...kissed a girl.
He's thirty-something years old.
What does he do when he's not working?
Does he just sit around the house?
When private investigation
won its most worthy champion...
...academia and the arts
suffered a loss, a great loss.
In addition to his many scholarly gifts,
he's a terrifically talented musician.
He writes songs.
He's terrible.
His metaphors are thin,
his imagery is cliched...
...and his thematic material is trite
and heavy-handed.
Why do you do it?
I left the firm, didn't know
what I was going to do...
...and I get this message on my machine.
He'd watched me argue a case in court...
...said I was the only person for the job.
I don't know. The guy's nuts, okay?
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"Zero Effect" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 27 Feb. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/zero_effect_23978>.