
Zapped!
- R
- Year:
- 1982
- 98 min
- 546 Views
Okay, Edgar. Your turn now.
Hey, come on.
All the rock stars love this stuff.
There you go.
- Barn?
- Hi, Peyton.
Since when did you become a boozer?
Oh, no.
on diving under the influence.
Let's see.
Edgar and Vincent were given
an amount of whiskey
equal to human consumption
of about 10 pints.
It's amazing.
They're twice as big
as they were yesterday.
Yeah, growth rate is up to 2 inches a day.
I gotta hand it to you, Barn,
super dope grown in super time
means a super buzz.
- And a lot of bucks for us.
- Whatever.
Hey, you know, Peyton,
over the summer, I...
mixture on various other plants.
It might get me a research grant
in the fall.
Looks like the party's over
for those two.
- No kidding.
- Well, let's go, Barn. It's assembly time.
Come on, Barn.
Barney, would you look at yourself?
You look like you just escaped
from a mouse cage.
- You know what you need?
- No, what?
Girl.
Gotta toughen you up, bro.
Hey, Barn.
How about some math help later?
No way. He's got work of his own to do.
Hey, Barney, did boss man here get you
a date for the prom?
Are you kidding?
Barney doesn't care about girls.
He's a rocket scientist.
You guys are assholes.
Smile.
Front page, Senior Edition.
Peyton, you print that and I'll sue.
I'm getting so tired of the girls
around here. They're so immature.
Hey, Peyton,
you and her ever...
Roscoe, you know I don't like
to talk about my women.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Oh, Barney,
how are my orchids coming along?
- They're fine, sir. We're right on schedule.
- Good.
My ex-wife's gonna be insane
when I win that blue ribbon.
Carry on, men.
You too, sir.
Seniors, I give you
the Penguin cheerleaders.
ALL:
We're number one,we're not number two
We're gonna push
the Tigers back in the zoo
Now, don't forget our last
baseball game is Tuesday afternoon
against the Lincoln Tigers.
So let's get out there
and show some spirit.
And now, as your class president,
it is my pleasure to introduce
the great principal
of Ralph Waldo Emerson High...
Gary Cooter.
As I was saying, the great principal
Mr. Walter Coolidge.
I'd like to congratulate
all the baseball varsity.
Well, you haven't won a game all year,
but let's not quit.
Let's pound those Tigers into rabbit
doo-doo.
Good luck to you all.
That was just fantastic.
Miss Burnhart, please.
That's all, seniors.
See you at the ball game.
Miss Updike,
I'm afraid we're gonna have to re-shoot
The first group didn't come out.
Okay, Peyton,
follow me.
You won't forget me when you're
with those college girls, will you?
Corinne, your love is a prize
That is one of your better lines.
- Hi, Dex.
- Hi there, Barney.
Now, don't mind me.
Just keep on doing what you're doing.
- Well, we only have one more game left.
- That's right.
And don't forget you promised
to let me bat once before I leave.
Barn, you're the greatest
statistician I ever had.
And you're a scientific whiz kid to boot.
If I was you,
I wouldn't be worried about no baseball.
Now, when I was your age
I was always out whoring around,
- having myself a good old time.
- Well, I wish I was whoring around.
No, you don't.
Them women is trouble.
First come the woman
and then the whiskey.
We used to call that
the devil's double whammy.
But you know something,
my old lady won't let me eat
salami no more.
Says it causes cancer.
Maybe you ought to drop this petunia shit
and figure out a cure for that sucker.
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"Zapped!" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 27 Feb. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/zapped!_23954>.