Zapped!

Okay, Edgar. Your turn now.

Hey, come on.

All the rock stars love this stuff.

There you go.

- Barn?

- Hi, Peyton.

Since when did you become a boozer?

Oh, no.

The scuba club wants a report

on diving under the influence.

Let's see.

Edgar and Vincent were given

an amount of whiskey

equal to human consumption

of about 10 pints.

It's amazing.

They're twice as big

as they were yesterday.

Yeah, growth rate is up to 2 inches a day.

I gotta hand it to you, Barn,

super dope grown in super time

means a super buzz.

- And a lot of bucks for us.

- Whatever.

Hey, you know, Peyton,

over the summer, I...

I'm gonna test my Ultra Grow

mixture on various other plants.

It might get me a research grant

in the fall.

Looks like the party's over

for those two.

- No kidding.

- Well, let's go, Barn. It's assembly time.

Come on, Barn.

Barney, would you look at yourself?

You look like you just escaped

from a mouse cage.

- You know what you need?

- No, what?

Girl.

Gotta toughen you up, bro.

Hey, Barn.

How about some math help later?

No way. He's got work of his own to do.

Hey, Barney, did boss man here get you

a date for the prom?

Are you kidding?

Barney doesn't care about girls.

He's a rocket scientist.

You guys are assholes.

Smile.

Front page, Senior Edition.

Peyton, you print that and I'll sue.

I'm getting so tired of the girls

around here. They're so immature.

Hey, Peyton,

you and her ever...

Roscoe, you know I don't like

to talk about my women.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Oh, Barney,

how are my orchids coming along?

- They're fine, sir. We're right on schedule.

- Good.

My ex-wife's gonna be insane

when I win that blue ribbon.

Carry on, men.

You too, sir.

Seniors, I give you

the Penguin cheerleaders.

ALL:
We're number one,

we're not number two

We're gonna push

the Tigers back in the zoo

Now, don't forget our last

baseball game is Tuesday afternoon

against the Lincoln Tigers.

So let's get out there

and show some spirit.

And now, as your class president,

it is my pleasure to introduce

the great principal

of Ralph Waldo Emerson High...

Gary Cooter.

As I was saying, the great principal

of Ralph Waldo Emerson High,

Mr. Walter Coolidge.

I'd like to congratulate

all the baseball varsity.

Well, you haven't won a game all year,

but let's not quit.

Let's pound those Tigers into rabbit

doo-doo.

Good luck to you all.

That was just fantastic.

Miss Burnhart, please.

That's all, seniors.

See you at the ball game.

Miss Updike,

I'm afraid we're gonna have to re-shoot

your Senior Edition pictures.

The first group didn't come out.

Okay, Peyton,

follow me.

You won't forget me when you're

with those college girls, will you?

Corinne, your love is a prize

I could never forsake.

That is one of your better lines.

- Hi, Dex.

- Hi there, Barney.

Now, don't mind me.

Just keep on doing what you're doing.

- Well, we only have one more game left.

- That's right.

And don't forget you promised

to let me bat once before I leave.

Barn, you're the greatest

statistician I ever had.

And you're a scientific whiz kid to boot.

If I was you,

I wouldn't be worried about no baseball.

Now, when I was your age

I was always out whoring around,

- having myself a good old time.

- Well, I wish I was whoring around.

No, you don't.

Them women is trouble.

First come the woman

and then the whiskey.

We used to call that

the devil's double whammy.

But you know something,

my old lady won't let me eat

salami no more.

Says it causes cancer.

Maybe you ought to drop this petunia shit

and figure out a cure for that sucker.

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