Xchange

Newscaster:
Scotland Yard

is still refusing to comment

on whether last week's bombing

of London's

Parliament Buildings

may have been the work

of N IA terrorists.

Fortunately,

due to the installation

of a new Yamashta

security system,

the damage was superficial,

owing to the fact...

How many times

have I told you?

You're here

to work, not watch.

Table six

needs bread.

Oh, do you have the 1 961

Quinta do Lisboa?

That's a wonderful port.

Well, it's a celebration.

What you've done

this quarter

is an absolute miracle.

Not everyone thinks so.

Okay, it's time.

Okay, his data's in.

Am I sure?

Yes, I'm sure !

Ross, you're great,

Ha ha !

No, really, is it safe

in Barbados now?

It's triangulating.

They must've left

the restaurant.

It cost us

half a billion dollars

to squeeze that scum

off that island.

Well, not all of them,

though.

You have to have

some caddies.

I swear to God,

if this doesn't work,

I'm gonna--

Enjoy your vacation,

Eisner.

( blast )

( screams )

Robot voice:

Good morning.

Sir, can you hear me?

It's 9:
1 5 a.m.,

and this is your seventh

wake-up call.

F*** off.

You have opted to snooze

six times.

Go away.

The snooze limit is 1 0.

Come on, give it

a break, George.

Do you wish to snooze?

The weather forecast

in N ew York City

is sunny and fair

- with a predicted high--

- Shut up. Quit.

and a low this evening

of 58.

Go away.

- Ah. Off!

- Do you wi--

Good morning, George.

You still there?

Yes, Mr. Toffler.

All right. You were upgraded

last night, George.

- It's test time. Ahem !

- Okay, Mr. Toffler.

- I would like my coffee strong.

- Strong.

Bathroom light on setting,

- dim.

- Dim.

Shower pressure pulsating,

temperature normal.

Specify normal.

Just do it, George.

Just do it.

It's the usual--

Would you say please,

pal, please?

Specify it.

Oh, boy.

So late.

You know, George...

I do not know

what is worse;

you or the people

who try to fix you.

Shall I return

to my defaults?

No. No, no, no.

No defaults.

I love you, George.

I'll always love you.

N ever change.

Again, at least 20 people dead

and dozens more remain buried.

And appearing today

for a third day

before the U S Senate

Oversight Committee

on Mind Transfer,

consumer advocate,

Madeline Renard.

Renard:
Apart from repeated

violations of the law,

Xchange is now

in the risky position

of policing itself.

Monopolies

are inherently unsafe

and we know that.

- H i, Madeline.

- Mind transfer

is a tremendous technology,

far too important

to be controlled

by a single company.

- I cannot stress...

- Give it a rest, Madeline.

Off!

Later, George.

You're late.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, oh. Tell me.

No, it's George.

I, uh, had him

upgraded yesterday.

H e is becoming tricky.

H e's, uh, trying

to run my life.

H e's completely

out of control.

Then reprogram it

and stop complaining.

Oh, gee, Ralpha.

With you around,

I can just deactivate

my entire therapy program.

I wouldn't.

Not before you've seen

the boss's message, anyway.

Play it.

Stuart, I need you

in my office now.

You're not here, are you?

Ahem !

Good morning, Josh.

What's up?

U h, why don't you tell him,

Mr. Lister?

No, that's Darren.

H e's my personal trainer.

H e puts my body

through its paces

once a week.

Josh.

That's you.

In that buff body.

And this is your trainer.

Darren.

You Xchange...

with your trainer?

Yeah. Well, why should I

bust my ass for good abs?

Let him do it.

I get more work done

that way.

This is very strange

to me, okay?

But it is your money, so...

If you wanna flit

from body to body,

go ahead.

If you ask me,

you're nuts.

You heard

about Eisner Scott?

Assassinated.

What?

You really got to start

waking up

earlier

in the morning.

They got him

with a seeker missile.

Oh, no.

That's horrible. What--

I just talked to him

last week. What happened?

Do we know

who did it?

Who else?

The N IA.

Wow.

So... who will be

the new CEO at...

Dinsey-Arthur-Mitland?

Probably his son,

but that's not a done deal.

They're having

a press conference in two hours

to reassure the investors,

so, uh...

You got to go.

You got to get there.

In two hours.

They're in San Francisco.

We're in N ew York.

That just can't happen.

You'll have to Xchange.

Xchange.

Travel will set it up

with you right now.

But I don't switch bodies.

You know that.

Jesus, Stuart, stop being

so 20th century!

You'll like floating !

It's a snap!

You won't believe it

when you take a sh*t

in somebody else's body.

Look at these biceps !

Yeah, I'm sure of it.

No way.

You got no choice.

Come on, Stuart.

You're our guy.

- D.A.M. loves you !

- They sure do.

We bill them a couple

of million dollars every year.

3.5.

The kid's gonna be

the new head honcho.

I think we'd like to stay

on his good side.

Please, Stuart.

Okay.

H ey, uh...

Do you want

the company limo?

No, thank you.

I have plenty of time.

I will walk.

Man:
Where the f***

have you guys been?

F***ing Xchange !

We needed those clones

an hour ago!

You know how much

those bodies are costing me?

Call Xchange.

It's their delay.

We can only afford them

for a couple of days.

Like the company

can't afford 20 minutes.

These clone bodies

are a bargain.

You got a stiff neck?

How come I always get stuck

with the crappy G.E.F?

I must be

on some kind of list.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes